Every time I talk to my husband, somehow I end up thinking I'm 19 again and meeting him for the first time. We were driving up to my parents house to spend the weekend with them (well, as much of the weekend as was left) and as we were driving past the casino he asked me if I had ever been and if I ever wanted to go. I said whether I wanted to or not was irrelevant, because I couldn't. Robbie was all confused...so I explained, I can't go in because they serve alcohol and I'm not old enough. He just starts laughing and can't stop, reminding me that I'm 22 soon to be 23...and that they let you in at 21. 

Wow. 

That moment was either the pregnancy brain (which made me put the board game we played last night in the fridge instead of the coat closet) or I really just think I never reached 20. 

Kind of like my three year anniversary is coming up in a month. Where in the world did the time go?

I think about my life and I am grateful, and truly blessed. I have seen the hand of God not only in my life, but in almost every other life I've had the privilege of knowing. 

The last year has, to tell you the truth, not been very eventful. 

I got a new calling at church, I started giving piano lessons, I quit clowning (only three more weekends to go!), Robbie and I got pregnant, we've slowly but surely made our house more like a home, we got a dog...I was thinking I should blog more...but about what? No one is really interested in my day to day life, besides myself my husband and maybe my best friends. People usually blog about THE BIG STUFF that happens: trips, exciting weekends...I'm sure I'll have more to talk about in the future, but my last year has been very peaceful getting the feel for how to be a good house wife, and prepping to be a good stay at home mom. It's a lot harder than it looks. For example, I should be cleaning the bathrooms and dusting, not blogging. Or sewing. My sewing pile is getting pretty out of hand. Anyways...even if my life may seem unremarkable and boring, I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

My birth DAY was incredible. 

I was woken up at 9:00 (the first time I've slept that late in 2 weeks!) by the doorbell. So I'm taking my time getting dressed (I'm pregnant, it's my birthday, I'm exhausted all the time and in the morning I feel just as bad as I do at night). I look out my door and I see what looks like chinese food. Who in the world is bringing me chinese food for breakfast. I barely catch Norma (a friend from church I've known since forever, and I teach her grandson piano) as she is pulling out of my driveway. The cupcakes, not chinese food, were delicious.

I'm still so tired, I lay down with my puppy and put on a movie. I picked three of my favorites to listen to while I did things throughout the day. The Princess Bride, The Prince of Egypt, and Fiddler on the Roof. At 10:00 the doorbell rings again! It's Sarah (another lifelong friend and I teach her and her daughter piano) with a chocolate satin pie. Which was also delicious.

So here it is, 10:00 and I'm already feeling so very loved. So I figure I best get on with my day, since I only had four hours till my busiest piano lesson day. I vacuumed, I put dinner in the crock pot, I prepped breakfast for tomorrow (which is baking right now. Overnight french toast with pears, brie, and some other yumminess...it smells so good! I hope it's worth the wait), I vacuumed again, cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry...four hours goes by very fast. 

Lessons from 2-5:30 straight, no breaks. Except when someone delivered flowers from Robbie! When he wants to be romantic, he does it really well.

Then he comes home early! Last night we had been talking in bed and somehow red balloons popped into my mind. I always have balloons, but never any helium. For some reason, what I wanted more than air was a red helium filled balloon. Something happy and floating. 

I didn't think I'd actually get it. I say stuff like that all the time...

He came home with eight. 

I'm pretty much obsessed. I can't remember the last time I had balloons with gas inside lighter than the gasses that we breathe :)

He brings them in and my cat stalks them. She is all flared up, and taking each step as slowly as if she was avoiding land mines, and walking around them over and over. 

He then went out and planted the Dahlia bulbs he bought me. And today I get to go to the nursery and get the rest of my valentines day present. I can't wait to see the front yard to bloom! 

When Robbie gets home the television is turned over to him. It's only fair. I went to turn off Fiddler on the Roof, and he said to keep it on. He has never watched it all the way through and he really doesn't want to. But he thoroughly spoiled me.

One of my very best friends, Whitney, and her family came over. Their baby is 8 months old! The spicy and sweet chili I made was good (and sat well with the baby in my uterus), Whitney made me a chocolate cake with coconut filling (which I had been craving) and put candles on it and everything. They even sang to me. They introduced me to the woman that told us how no one has time for that.  Their baby smiled, laughed, was winning my heart and gave Robbie a run for his money. Robbie decided he wanted to know what this little boy would do if something cold, like a carton of ice cream, touched his cheek. At first he didn't know what to think, then he cried. And every time he looked at Robbie for the next 10 minutes gave him this dirty look and almost cried. We couldn't stop laughing. My dog was freaked out by this little bundle of movement and drool. Don't worry, we didn't let her near the baby. She hasn't been trained around babies, she doesn't know what to do or not do around them yet and Whitney was not up for letting her baby being the training ground. It was cute to watch the dog watch the baby's every move. When the baby cried she barked. That's the first time she's ever heard a baby cry...protecting us from this new wonder. 

And of course, to end the day, me because I'm pregnant and Robbie because he is up from 5-5:30 every morning, we were in bed by 9:30. Out by 9:45. 

And that's the best way to end the day, falling asleep in the arms of the man you love...knowing you only have to wait 4 more days for the super duper ultra sound...where you get to see the baby in your womb and your husband gets to see it too..the day you get to see if your baby is healthy, and if he or she will cooperate and show you who they are so you can pick a name and colors etc etc...

Why yes...it was a very great day. 

I'm glad I was born.

A Lesson in Cleaning

(1)

Let your husband do some of it.

And if he doesn't do it the way you wanted it to be done, remember that it's done, and you didn't have to do it. So let some of those control issues go, and be glad that it's done.

I don't know how many of your husbands come home and immediately start moving things around, but mine does. I have always been a little bit cluttered, not always putting things away...it drives him insane. 

Now I used to take offense, thinking he was doing it to tell me or show me that what I was doing wasn't good enough. Turns out, that just wasn't true. He just wants to help. 

Sure, sometimes it isn't done right. For example, he made himself lunch the other day, and then I made dinner...it's kind of our agreement, I cook the food and he puts it away. He put dinner away...but left his lunch out. From lunch time. So it sat out all afternoon, evening, and night. I thought he had put it away while he was putting dinner away...not so. Sometimes, they just don't do it the way you would like it to be done. Instead of badgering them about it, be grateful and find the silver lining. My silver lining was that he put the good stuff away :) And that he never touches the laundry, because he doesn't know which of my clothes would be ruined in the dryer. Thank you Robbie. 

Not only will it make you a little happier, it will help your marriage. No one likes to be pestered for helping. But no one likes not being able to communicate their feelings either. Robbie and I have worked really hard to be ale to tell each other things we don't like that the other is doing and not get offended. 

(2) 

Make a schedule.

What needs to be done once a week, twice a week, every other week, once a month? Spring cleaning!  etc.

(3)

Do a little bit every day. 

As you're going along, living your day, put things away. For example the bathroom: when you're done getting ready for the day, put all your stuff away, so you don't have to do it later. When you get undressed and put on your pjs, put your clothes away either in the dirty clothes hamper or in the dresser or in the closet. When you're done making your sandwich, before you go sit down to eat it, put all the stuff back in the fridge, wipe down the cutting board, and put dirty utensils in the sink. After you're done eating, if you have a lame dish washer like mine where you have to rinse everything before it goes in, rinse it an put it in the dishwasher instead of letting it sit in the sink. 

(4)

Do things immediately.

When the laundry is done, fold and iron it. When the dishwasher is done, empty it. 

Of course, this isn't always realistic. The laundry was done yesterday, and I haven't ironed yet. The dishes are my worst nightmare, and the sink always has dishes in it. Which leads me to my last, and favorite thing I've learned.

(5)

Nothing, and no one is perfect.

I do my best to follow what I have found to work, and when I do it my house is clean and great. And sometimes things come up, like forgetting to start the dishwasher, so it isn't ready in the morning and then the dishes pile up in the sink. Starting to dust, then not finishing it, and then finishing the next day. 

Cleaning is always a work in progress. And it will never get done. Because you will never be done living, and creating, and making messes, and having to clean them up. It's a never ending cycle. 

If you don't remember this, you'll go crazy trying to keep every thing clean all the time. So relax, don't worry about being perfect. Just as long as you're always moving forward, and not standing still or moving backwards...

So that's what I've learned. I hope you enjoyed!

Expecting

So it's very much official....

Robbie and I are expecting!

To some of you this might not be news...even when I thought it would be a big surprise when we told the family at Christmas, they all kinda figured it out.

I haven't been trying to give it away...
I guess the
...
saltines
plastic bags
tums
peppermints
pregnancy books and info I leave everywhere (because I swear I'm losing brain cells by the minute)
and the fact that I can't stand certain smells
or eat anything
and sleep all the time
....
kind of gave it away.

I'll be 13 weeks on Sunday. First trimester, BAM! Done.

Would you like to hear the story?

So my ovulation cycles were not normal. Oh how I had wished that every four weeks I'd have my period, then a week or so later start ovulating etc etc. But it was not to be. My cycles were anywhere from 6-9 weeks long. Do you know how long that is? Of course you do. It's 6-9 weeks. That's 42-63 days instead of the normal 28 days. That means our chances of conceiving were diminished from one shot every month, to ONE SHOT in about 2 months. A normal woman has about 12 chances in a year to conceive, I had about 6.

The odds were against us.

I was starting to lose hope.

I know, I'm a big cry baby...there are women who try for years and still don't lose hope. I'm obviously not very mature when it comes to patience and waiting, although I feel I've learned a lot in the 6 or so months we were trying. I think God knows who I am, and what I can handle. I had prepared myself to wait for as long as it was going to take, and then He didn't make me wait any longer.

I thought we'd have to go get tested.
 (and maybe next time we'll have to, who knows?)

So I was waiting...the long 9 weeks for my next period...

And by this time I wasn't even waiting anymore.

I stopped stressing out about it, stopped scheduling sex around when I thought I was ovulating, ate whatever I wanted, didn't take my prenatal vitamins if I didn't feel like it...Robbie and I embraced the feeling and idea of it'll happen when it's supposed to happen, and we would be grateful and happy when it did. (Communication, when trying to make a baby, is just as important as having sex. If you're not on the same page, and you're stressed out, I strongly believe it probably won't happen. At least, not until you get on the same page and stop stressing.)

And then all of a sudden I started drooling.

And my breasts got really tender, painful to the touch.

And I got nauseous constantly.

I couldn't get up in the morning to save my life. Seriously, the house could be on fire and I would still be in bed saying "Just one more hour".

My dog, who I love, I couldn't be in the same room with her she smelled so bad.
Robbie gave her a bath...it made the smell worse.

I was in ballet, and we were spinning round and round and round. I couldn't control my emotions, and I don't know how I kept the vomit down.

I thought, for $1, I can afford to be curious. I can go get a pregnancy test at the dollar tree store. My period wasn't supposed to come for another week, but I was so nauseous and not throwing up like I figured I would if I had a bug... maybe?

That double pink line wasn't faint, it was like BOOM! YOU'RE PREGNANT!

what?
no.
really?
no.

I went and got the $23 double pack digital ones just to be sure. It came back positive also.

I was in shock. I hadn't been eating well, I hadn't been taking my prenatals...turns out I was already 6 weeks. Did you know at 6 weeks your baby has a heart beat? 131 bpm. That was about the only thing you could see on that first ultra sound was that little flutter of it's heart.

At 10 weeks the ultrasound showed clearly a body with a large head, and arms and legs with little hands and feet. It was moving around, up and down...inside of me. It put its little hand to its mouth and started sucking on it.

I'm just starting to show a little. You know how usually you can suck your stomach in and show your ribs and stuff? I can't do that anymore. And you can tell it's not just my normal pudge or bloat, if you feel or poke it there is something hard in there.

I totally get the alien movies now. For real.

I still can't stand certain smells, though my dog is tolerable thank goodness.

I still can't eat certain foods.

I've only thrown up once.

I don't get as car sick or motion sick as I did the first weeks, but it's still not great.

I sleep probably 12 hours a day.

I'm counting my many blessings.

One of which is a loving husband who understands that I would love to be up and doing things around the house, but I'm just so tired! He has been so kind and supportive, being appreciative when I do get stuff done and being grateful when I do take it easy and rest.

The other, that it's sleep and nightly indigestion and gas that's plaguing me instead of morning sickness. Vomiting and needles are two of my biggest fears. I'm grateful God has given me only what He knows I can handle, because He knows I'm a chicken when it comes to pain and fear. I hope and pray it just gets better from here on out instead of worse.

Looking back around the time of conception, almost the exact day of was when Robbie actually got on board and actually wanted to have a baby instead of just saying he wanted to have one.

God works in mysterious ways.

I'm hoping and praying that nothing bad happens. I guess, even though I'm almost done with the first trimester, I could still have a miscarriage. We won't know till 18 weeks if there will be any abnormalities or health problems that can be seen (and then who knows what can happen during delivery). I sound rather pessimistic, don't I? Really, it's more realistic. Keeping in mind that anything is possible, including a good pregnancy to term with a healthy baby at the end.

I'm so grateful for my many blessings.

And I'm so excited to start prepping for this new addition to our family!