December 14th - Rituals and Traditions

Funny how Sarah is usually right on point in my life.

Today she talks about loss, and how for some reason the holidays are the hardest for those who have suffered a recent loss, whether through death or divorce. 

Start Quote

Perhaps one of the reasons...[we] experience difficulty during Christmastime is because, deep in their hearts, [we] think holiday traditions belong only to perfect Norman Rockwell families. 

The first time...[she] opens the ornament box alone (if she even bothers to pull it out), she experiences such a sense of loss she may decide not to continue the holiday rituals she once treasured because the comparison of Christmases Past with Christmas Present is too painful.

"What's the point?" she says.

The point is that we all need the reassuring and healing messages that treasured rituals provide. "One of the most important aspects about family traditions - rituals that families continue to do year after year - is that traditions have symbols and families need symbols," Dr Steven J. Wolin...explains: "You bring out the old glass, you sing the old songs, you say the same prayer, you wear a certain outfit, you set the table in a certain way." These are the unconscious moments of family ritual that become emotional security blankets to be tugged on in times of stress. 

Cherished customs are just as important 

for grown women as they are for children.

End Quote 

This is the second Christmas without Shelby, 

and not gonna lie it's rough.

But the traditions are helping. 

They do feel like a security blanket. 

And doing it for my kids, 

and seeing how excited they are,

it helps make it worth it. 

I don't think it's ever going to get easier, 

but I think it'll get better...if that makes any sense.

Maybe it's the other way around...

Just keeping her memory and legacy alive... 

 I wonder what Christmas traditions and rituals they do in Heaven.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Tomorrow is Friday! Thank goodness. It's been a long week.

2) Star Wars was AMAZING!!!!!!!

3) Last two piano lessons done for the year!

4) My cousin. She's awesome.

5) My kids. They're pretty adorable.