Awful.
Let's face it.
2017 I tried to handle the grief of losing my sister through blogging everyday,
and while it helped and I learned so much, it also drove me a little crazy.
Blogging every day was intense.
2018 I tried to blog again, but every month or so instead of every day.
I gave up around April.
These were the goals that I had for 2018.
Robbie and my friends tried to tell me that I was overly ambitious...
I didn't listen.
Love my eyebrows just the way they are. DO NOT OVER PLUCK!
I became very stressed and ended up picking them until they were almost gone again.
Not as gone as January of last year, but still not as good as they were in April.
Stress is the key factor in keeping my trichotillomania in check.
Stress doesn't go away, and I don't know if I'll ever be cured by just strength of will
(because obviously that fails), but I do know that I can continue
trying to handle the stress in my life in a healthy way.
trying to handle the stress in my life in a healthy way.
And I have grown to love them, even when they are very sparse.
So I mean, that's good...
So I mean, that's good...
Read my scriptures and pray every day -Get enough rest so I can
I completely failed at half of this. I did not read my scriptures and pray every day,
but I did work on getting enough rest. Lots, and lots of rest.
I worked on not beating myself up about needing so much.
Handling my grief and depression and raising three crazy kids really takes a lot out of me.
2018 really was a year of sleep and rest.
But, now with the new Come Follow Me manual and the Home Centered, Church Supported
way of thinking and learning, I'm feeling really encouraged and hopeful.
And so far, this week I've done the reading. And have been getting plenty of rest, so...
But, now with the new Come Follow Me manual and the Home Centered, Church Supported
way of thinking and learning, I'm feeling really encouraged and hopeful.
And so far, this week I've done the reading. And have been getting plenty of rest, so...
Make more time for friends
Oh how I wish I could have done this more.
But making enough time for myself and taking care of my family took all of my time.
I'm so grateful for the friends that I do have, who were understanding and loving
when I flaked or couldn't make something or couldn't even make time to make something.
Crappy friend for sure....trying to be an awesome mom...
Thank you to my friends who still love me, despite me being unable to make enough time for you.
Make Chasing Shelby something great
Oh dear. The stress of trying to help Jacob succeed in school, and life, and still trying to grieve Shelby's death, I couldn't really bring myself to work on the foundation unless I had to. Every time I would think about it I would start to have an anxiety attack, so I just didn't think about it.
Write my own piano lesson material
Yep. Here is another over ambitious goal that I didn't have time/make time for.
Do more crafts: finish those t-shirt memory quilts
Still haven't finished one. I got the fabric for the back in February, asked for help in November....
and still haven't touched it. I did wash the back fabric....yeah...
Put things away after I take them out
This one I think I'll have to work on till the day I die. I did not master it this year.
But I did get better, so I mean, there's that.
Exercise
Ha! I literally didn't do ANY intense exercising for an entire year. I walked a few times.
Wow. That's kind of sadly hilarious.
Work on riding the wave better when I'm depressed
THIS! This I did do better on!!! I had a lot of waves, and a lot, A LOT of bad days,
but I didn't completely loose my crap.
I just lost it a little bit.
Start re-learning physical therapy material
Revamp old blog posts
Didn't. Even. Touch.
Now that the year is over, it really wasn't as awful as it felt at times.
I rested. A lot. I've been raising babies and toddlers for the past five years, and I was so tired.
So I slept whenever I could, which was a lot.
I took time for myself and set more boundaries. On Sundays after a long week of getting the kids to school, I would often wake up and cry. I would just go back to bed and Robbie would watch the kids till noon. I felt so guilty, but Robbie was so patient with me. He told me every single time that I needed to rest if I needed it, and God understood.
Now that I'm a little more clear headed and well rested, I can see that and feel that too.
I know God accepts our best efforts, even if we aren't living up to other's expectations.
I know now that I can accept my best efforts, even if they aren't where I want them to be right now.
I started getting the hang of having three kids in school!
Two hours to myself every day from August to December was bliss.
Chasing Shelby was able to donate $8,000 to Valley Children's,
and we had a successful Second Annual Car Show!
That is a HUGE increase! Last year we were only able to done $500.
We couldn't have done it without everyone who came out to support the cause for Spina Bifida.
We had a successful year of piano lessons! I love my students and the joy they bring to my life.
Jacob did choir, which was awesome for all of us!
He is the most hilarious kid ever. We practiced and practiced and practiced.
And when he got up for his Christmas Concert, he forgot everything.
He sang weird, with his mouth over emphasizing the words and vowels.
He put his hands in his pockets, and fiddled with his pants, and his belt, and his tie...
And then he picked his nose.
I was laughing so hard I cried.
I took some time to do something crazy and that I wanted to do. I tried out for a musical!
The Little Mermaid was so much work, and so much fun.
We had a LOT of fun together.
Oh dear. The stress of trying to help Jacob succeed in school, and life, and still trying to grieve Shelby's death, I couldn't really bring myself to work on the foundation unless I had to. Every time I would think about it I would start to have an anxiety attack, so I just didn't think about it.
Write my own piano lesson material
Yep. Here is another over ambitious goal that I didn't have time/make time for.
Do more crafts: finish those t-shirt memory quilts
Still haven't finished one. I got the fabric for the back in February, asked for help in November....
and still haven't touched it. I did wash the back fabric....yeah...
Put things away after I take them out
This one I think I'll have to work on till the day I die. I did not master it this year.
But I did get better, so I mean, there's that.
Exercise
Ha! I literally didn't do ANY intense exercising for an entire year. I walked a few times.
Wow. That's kind of sadly hilarious.
Work on riding the wave better when I'm depressed
THIS! This I did do better on!!! I had a lot of waves, and a lot, A LOT of bad days,
but I didn't completely loose my crap.
I just lost it a little bit.
Start re-learning physical therapy material
Revamp old blog posts
Didn't. Even. Touch.
Now that the year is over, it really wasn't as awful as it felt at times.
I rested. A lot. I've been raising babies and toddlers for the past five years, and I was so tired.
So I slept whenever I could, which was a lot.
I took time for myself and set more boundaries. On Sundays after a long week of getting the kids to school, I would often wake up and cry. I would just go back to bed and Robbie would watch the kids till noon. I felt so guilty, but Robbie was so patient with me. He told me every single time that I needed to rest if I needed it, and God understood.
Now that I'm a little more clear headed and well rested, I can see that and feel that too.
I know God accepts our best efforts, even if we aren't living up to other's expectations.
I know now that I can accept my best efforts, even if they aren't where I want them to be right now.
I started getting the hang of having three kids in school!
Two hours to myself every day from August to December was bliss.
Chasing Shelby was able to donate $8,000 to Valley Children's,
and we had a successful Second Annual Car Show!
That is a HUGE increase! Last year we were only able to done $500.
We couldn't have done it without everyone who came out to support the cause for Spina Bifida.
We had a successful year of piano lessons! I love my students and the joy they bring to my life.
Jacob did choir, which was awesome for all of us!
He is the most hilarious kid ever. We practiced and practiced and practiced.
And when he got up for his Christmas Concert, he forgot everything.
He sang weird, with his mouth over emphasizing the words and vowels.
He put his hands in his pockets, and fiddled with his pants, and his belt, and his tie...
And then he picked his nose.
I was laughing so hard I cried.
I took some time to do something crazy and that I wanted to do. I tried out for a musical!
The Little Mermaid was so much work, and so much fun.
We had a LOT of fun together.
And they loved getting silly stringed...sticky splat!
Well, I guess 2018 wasn't that awful.
It was pretty great.
And 2019 is looking pretty good too.
I have some new goals.
1) Exercise.
I know that I will feel so much better if I do, mentally and physically.
2) Do the Positive Parenting program.
I want to do one section a week, and then share my experience with you and how it helped our family.
3) Do the Come Follow Me curriculum,
This will help me read and pray every day.
It will help us stay focused, and encourage us to study
as a family, as a couple, and as an individual.
So keep in touch! I can't wait to share my experiences.
I will try to do it every week, but obviously we are in the second week now of January and I'm still trying to get started. I'm trying to find the right balance between keeping my goals, but also getting enough sleep and doing things like....
The command center!!!
Merry Christmas, happy birthday, and happy anniversary to me!
And a Happy New Year to you.
May this year be filled with more love, understanding, and patience,
with others, but especially,
with yourself.
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