October 3rd - Perfectionism

I thought the road to hell was paved with good intentions...

Start Quote

The road to hell is paved by perfectionists 

working with grains of sand.

Uh-oh...missed a spot...

Like workaholism, aspiring to be Little Miss Perfect

is an addiction of low self-worth.

When we were young, nothing we did was ever good enough,

so we just kept on doing until doing was all we could do.

When doing more and more didn't make a difference, 

we thought if we did our work perfectly,

we'd hit the mark.

When we did, suddenly voices other than our own sang our praises.

It sounded like the Heavenly hosts.

Champagne or chocolate couldn't begin to compare 

with the ecstasy of genuine compliments. 

We're creatures who live by our senses, 

and since the response we got for perfection felt wonderful

- even if for only ten seconds -

we wanted to repeat the experience.

So we committed to doing everything perfectly,

setting in motion a cycle of self-destruction that 

frequently felt as comfortable as a straitjacket.

Still, the pursuit of perfection is the opiate of choice 

for millions of women.

I could tell you to stop reading the magazines, 

watching the videos, and going to the movies 

that continuously reinforce our belief that perfection is possible, 

but you're not going to listen to me.

Instead, next time you see a gorgeous woman 

on the cover of a magazine, a room to die for, 

or a meal that would take a professional chef 

a week to prepare, begin to chant,

"You're not real. You're not real. You're not real.

I refuse to grant you the power to make me miserable."...

The woman, 

 

the room, 

 

and the meal 

 

that are depicted to inspire

(but that really diminish us)

are illusions conjured up by professionals 

paid handsomely to manipulate reality.

Once a close friend gave me a priceless gift. 

She convinced me that my sanity

 is much more important 

than the subtle nuances that I adore.

The subtle nuances are the essence of perfection.

The subtle nuances trigger the "Ah" response. 

But life spent seeking the subtle nuances 

leaves little time to enjoy the big picture. 

Now, as a recovering perfectionist,

I try to leave the subtle nuances to Spirit, 

who shows off better than I do...

A point worth pondering:

Upon completing the Universe, 

the Great Creator pronounced it "very good." 

Not "perfect."

End Quote

If you missed conference, 

listen to Elder Holland's talk on perfection. 

I have come to know that we 

CANNOT BE PERFECT.

It is impossible in this lifetime, 

and it is impossible alone.

Why set yourself up to an impossible standard?

I am a recovering perfectionist.

What I chant to myself every time an evil thought comes to mind

about how something I did isn't good enough,

I chant "I did the best I could with what I had.
I like it, I'm glad I did it."

One thing that I've learned over the years in playing the piano

is that you will never play a piece perfectly.

There are probably some out there who are so good

that they never make a mistake, but it is not the case for me.

So I tell myself and I tell my students,

you just do your best. If you put in the work,

and you ask God for his help, 

then your best will be good enough.

If you have problems giving up being a perfectionist

or have problems accepting that you are enough,

you should pray for help. 

I know that God is more than willing

to help you with this trial.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Tuesday was much better than Monday.

2) Cousins and playdates.

3) I was like I'm just going to throw dinner together, and it actually tasted good. I felt like a real chef. It helps that soup is easy to make and hard to mess up, and then you freeze half and you still have leftovers for the week. Win, win, win.

4) Piano lessons. I love teaching my students. There was this one page that she said she was never going to be able to get, and I kept telling her to start practicing on the micro level...start with one measure, and if that's too difficult start with the first beat and then the second etc. She got it! Today she played it for me "perfectly", and I told her I want you to remember this page for the rest of your life, because the next time you think you can't do something you just remember that with time and effort you can. It's super awesome.

5) Nap time.