I LOVE boundaries.
They have saved my life more than once.
Start Quote
Limits are the barbed wire of real life.
Boundaries are split-rail fences.
When you push past limits...there's a good chance
of being pricked as you hurtle up and over.
But boundaries set apart the Sacred with simple grace.
There's always enough room to maneuver between the rails
if you're willing to bend.
We want our lives to feel limitless,
so we must learn the art of creating boundaries
that protect, nurture, and sustain all we cherish.
For most women, creating boundaries is excruciating,
so we don't do it until we're pushed to the outer edge of tolerance.
To create boundaries we must learn to say,
This means speaking up.
Expressing our needs.
Indicating our preferences.
These moments are tense and can easily escalate
into confrontations complete with tears,
misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.
This is why women stay quiet,
rendered virtually mute by unexpressed rage
and unable to articulate any needs at all...
Speaking the language of "no"
is a good place to start creating boundaries.
"'No' can be a beautiful word,
every bit as beautiful as 'yes,'"
writers John Robbins and Ann Mortifee declare.
"Whenever we deny our need to say 'no,'
our self-respect diminishes...
It is not only our right at certain times to say 'no';
it is our deepest responsibility.
For it is a gift to ourselves when we say 'no'
to those old habits that dissipate our energy,
'no' to what robs us of our inner joy,
'no' to what distracts us from our purpose.
And it is a gift to others to say 'no'
when their expectations do not ring true for us,
for in so doing we free them to discover more fully
the truth of their own path.
Saying 'no' can be liberating
when it expresses our commitment to take a stand
for what we believe we truly need."
End Quote
Come on, say it with me.
No.
Again.
No.
Again.
No.
Keep saying it.
Over and over and over.
Get really good at saying it,
so that way when the time comes
that you need to say it,
you can.
Whether you're saying no to yourself,
or to someone or something else,
it's okay to say "I can't do it. I'm sorry, no."
On Friday night our Ward had an activity,
and while I really wanted to go
I had gotten sick after a long day of work
and just couldn't work up the nerve to get dressed
and go out in public again.
So I said no, I can't go and that's okay.
I wanted to go look at all the yard sales
in our community yard sales today,
but I also wanted to sell all my stuff.
So Robbie manned our driveway for an hour,
and then he was done.
I could either continue to try to sell my wares
or continue shopping, because he said no.
He said no, he couldn't stand outside doing something
he didn't like to do anymore, and that was okay.
And I chose to take the kids on a walk
and continue shopping.
The beauty of saying no is that
when you start saying no to things that
you can't do or things that don't make you happy,
you can start to say yes to the things you can do
and the things that do make you happy.
Come on, say it with me.
No.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) Yard sales. I always find something, so just like thrift stores I don't go very often. Today I made about $20 off of my yard sale, and spent a little under $20...so it's like I bartered for new stuff. I got some great movies, and some other really nice things. I was very excited.
2) Car shows! I went to the Fallen Heroes Car Show at the Sierra Vista Mall to hand out save the date flyers for our Chasing Shelby Foundation Car Show next year. It was great to meet new people, see some old faces from June who were so awesome to come out to our car show in 110 degree weather in June, and see some truly beautiful cars.
3) When timing just works out. I got home in time for us all to go as a family to a birthday party.
4) Birthday parties. They're the best.
5) I'm going to bed. I'm so tired.
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