November 22nd - Meditation for Bad Girls

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Does anyone else really really want to see
Bad Moms and A Bad Moms Christmas? 

If they were not rated R, and they were clean,
I would totally see them.

The movies, and trailers are not for everyone. 
I can't even put the trailers here, because there's some inappropriate stuff in them.
But the idea is so true. I am so tired of trying to be a perfect mom.
I'm so tired of being judged by others saying that I'm not good enough
 for trying my best. 

So lets face it. If they world is going to tell us we're bad, 
then let's be bad.

Start Quote
Bad girls know it's not the cards you're dealt but how well you play your hand...
Bad girls don't just want to have fun, they make sure they do...

Most of us are only bad girls in our dream.
But there's a pattern in the bad-girl lifestyle that deserves contemplation. 
Bad girls buy what they want to buy, eat what they want to eat, 
wear what they want to wear, sleep when they want to sleep.
Bad girls do not have therapists because they don't need them.
Instead, bad girls have housekeepers and masseuses.

Bad girls realize this isn't a dress rehearsal.
Real life is what you make of it.

Rita Hayworth

You can be bad. You can be good. 
You just sure as hell better be authentic.
End Quote

Mae West

So yeah, if it's bad to feed my kids McDonald's when we're all sick instead of making homemade chicken noodle soup, then yeah I'm a bad mom. If it's bad that I fed my kids cereal for like 2 weeks straight for breakfast, and not the healthy kind, then yeah I'm a bad mom. If it's bad that I need a break from my kids at least once a week, then yeah, I'm a bad mom. If it's bad that I don't completely cater to my children's every whim and pay attention to them every waking moment, then yeah I'm a bad mom.

Let's just not judge. 
And lets all be a little bad.

Not bad like breaking laws bad.
No child abuse, no going on a killing spree...

But buy something for yourself. 
Go to dinner with a best friend and gorge on sushi.
Dress up just to drop the kids off at school or go to the grocery store.
If you're sexy then flaunt it, but tastefully of course.
Put the tv on for the kids for an hour, or two, 
so you can get some peace and quiet. 
Make mac'n'cheese from a box and frozen chicken nuggets for dinner.

Ava Gardner

The world has many mixed views on what is bad and what is good.
Don't listen to them.
No matter what you do, someone is going to be upset.
With the world, you'll never win.

Figure out what's good and bad for yourself,
and be authentic.
It's as simple as that.

Gratitude Journal

1) Bartering! 

2) Help, lots and lots of help. Because she helped, we got the entire kitchen cleaned, top to bottom. Crazy awesome.

3) Having a clean kitchen. Knowing it's clean, smelling clean, looking clean, feeling clean, it's just amazing.

4) Naps in the middle of the day. If I didn't take a nap, life wouldn't happen. I would not survive.

5) Finally! Thanksgiving is here! I can't wait, I feel like I've been waiting forever.

November 21st - Playing Hooky

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

I love playing hooky.

The first thing I think about when I think of playing hooky
is Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 

My days of ditching have never been that extravagant. 
I ditched classes in high school to do homework...
pretty lame, right?
I ditched classes in college because I didn't like the class, 
not for any particular reason.

And in order to play hooky now I have to schedule it like two weeks in advance. 
I need babysitters, and schedules to line up, and a good book or two.

Start Quote 
Today let's meditate with our calendars open.
How does your week look?
Which day could you take off without your world grinding to a halt because you're temporarily unavailable to keep it spinning? 
Now write it in, "mental health day." ...

Don't feel guilty about calling in sick; 
this is preventative action.

Sometimes I wish I were a physician specializing in women's medicine. I would surprise each one of my patients annually with a  written prescription to play hooky for a day. 

I would convince them that hooky is absolutely necessary 
for their good health: physical and psychological.  
Then I would give them an official note excusing them from real life.
I think the crucial reason it's so difficult to be a grown-up is that 
there's no one to write a note for us excusing us from the job, 
the marriage, caring for Mom, and driving the car pool. 

Don't worry. I'll write your note... 

Playing hooky is not the same as "sitting one out."
When - because you simply can't stand it anymore -
you sit one out by taking a sick day or a vacation day, 
you don't have the creative energy for "hookiness." 

When we play hooky, the operative word here is "play"
and no one's to know it but your authentic self.
(Or a good friend who's playing hooky with you.)

Send your husband off to work, call in and say you'll see whomever tomorrow, take the kids to day care. If you're at home, call a sitter or arrange with another mother to exchange hooky days.

Now you have approximately eight hours to call your own.
Do whatever seems most frivolous, most totally self-indulgent...
Get a European body wrap, a pedicure, a cosmetic makeover, or a facial. Treat yourself to an aromatherapy massage. Pretend you're a tourist and take in the local attractions. Go to the movies...Read a fabulous novel in one sitting with a small box of Godiva chocolates in your lap. Don't answer the phone.

Only do what you want to do, not what needs to be done.
Pick up the kids and your favorite carryout food.

When your day is over, 
all you've accomplished is caring for your soul.

Luxuriate in your idleness....
End Quote

For those of us who always have too much to do 
and have too little time to do it,
taking care of yourself should be one of those things that doesn't get overlooked. 

I guess I never really played hooky afterall.
I can't remember the last time I spent an entire day doing only what I wanted to do. Sure, an hour here or there, maybe a couple of hours, but not a whole day. Sometime in the day I do something that has to get done.

I'll have to spend a day, and let you know how it goes.

Gratitude Journal

1) Getting all the laundry done. For the first time in like ever, I only have one basket to fold and one basket that needs some stain treating, and it's all in the laundry room. Yes!

2) The office. Dwight is amazing. And it's so nice to do things that suck, like laundry and ironing, when you have something awesome to watch/listen to.

3) Getting all three kids to nap at the same time. Jacob doesn't nap anymore, so the fact that he passed out while I was reading to him was pretty impressive. Of course Chase woke up after like an hour, but still. 

4) Reading The Chronicles of Narnia to Jacob to get him to sleep. He'll sit straight up when he catches a phrase that sounds interesting. "Jolley rotten" was yesterday. Today he told me it wasn't nice of Digory to hurt Polly. Yep. I'm super excited to be having these conversations with him.

5) The kids are still sick. Lots and lots of boogers, and coughing, and crying because they feel like crap...but they're feeling a little better....just a little bit. 

November 20th - Your Village

Monday, November 20, 2017

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."

I have learned that it takes a village to raise your children.

Start Quote
Around this time of year we start thinking of family,
sometimes lovingly, sometimes with dread.

Although the configuration of the family has 
changed drastically since the Victorian era, 
what hasn't changed is our need for
 close ties to those who call us their own. 

Real life often frays the ties that bind families... 

But it is possible to draw close to those we love if we plan for it.
It seems absurd that we must make time for love, 
whether it's carving out time for a romantic interlude with a partner, 
setting up an official lunch date with a sister, or penciling in 
a long telephone call with a brother or a favorite cousin. 
But there you have it...

[Have a stack of cards for the year ready to go, so you don't have to go get one every time someone has a birthday. Have your birthday calendar be part of your regular calendar.]

Be creative with your gestures...
[Keep clippings of newspaper/magazine articles and comics that make you think of them, just make sure to send it to them.
When you find a book you love, get one for your mom or you know.]

If you live away from family members, schedule telephone calls on a regular basis...

We all remember the children in our extended families around the holidays, but it takes a little extra effort to remember the kid's birthdays. There are more hurt and silent feelings smoldering over this one omitted gesture than you can imagine. 

Try to make the effort. 
Not having time, or "meaning to," really doesn't cut it. 
None of us have time, all of us mean to. 

We all can do it, once we make thoughtfulness easy with a system.

[Do your family history.]
Share family stories. Record them on audiotapes so they won't get lost. Especially have your parents and grandparents record their memories. After he's gone, the sound of your father's voice will break your heart but heal your soul. Go through your old family photographs and have copies made for everyone. Start an extended family video record. Try to get together annually....

[One friend had a really great idea. Their mother died, and so the siblings pooled their inheritance to create a reunion fund to pay for an annual reunion because they all lived so far away from each other.] She says it was the first few reunions that were so crucial; after that, a new family tradition had been established. Now my friend feels closer to her brothers and sisters as an adult than she ever did as a child.

Simone Weil believed, 
"To be rooted is perhaps the most important 
and least recognized need of the human soul." 

That's a wonderful thought to meditate upon this Thanksgiving.
End Quote

We need our village to stay sane, even to survive...
But we also need to be good members of our village.

I know I could be a better family member. 
I hope I have a long life so I can keep trying.

Gratitude Journal

1) We made it out of the house today! It was difficult, and I had to come home and lie down the rest of the day, but we made it!

2) We got to see turkeys and little chicks! They're so cute. Jacob actually held one, and when you talk to the turkeys they all talk back simultaneously. 

3) It's thanksgiving break. I don't think I could do this if there was school this week.

4) Therapy. 

5) Clean sheets.