1 on 1

It's here.

It's finally here.

The blog about One on One Time.

Yay!

So when school started at the end of August I started trying to do our 

Mind, Body and Soul time again. I was really positive about it for the 

first three days...and then not so much after that. 

As it seems to always happen, I got sick.

So we stopped doing anything except surviving.

Then we tried again. 

There were lots of tears, and fighting, and whining...

And we stopped...again.

I procrastinated on Chasing Shelby and all of a sudden it was less than a month away and I had a lot of work to do, so I decided that I needed that 30 minutes to work on the foundation. The car show was amazing! So all my hard work was worth it. We were able to donate $5,000 to Valley Children's!

...

 Now we're trying a third time.

Well, the third time of the third time. 

That's double lucky, right?

I've been really good about doing the twins time after lunch. 

One goes and does whatever they want to do (I try to set them up for success), screen time, puzzles, play, literally almost anything, while the other does their One on One Time. And for the past week we haven't really had any problems with interrupting, which is like crazy amazing.

Jacob gets his time after he gets home from school. Sometimes though we have to do something right after school, like a play date, an errand, or a piano lesson. When that happens I let him know that we'll reschedule his time for after. This last Thursday and Friday I did not get to Jacob...it was a rough couple of days. But I followed through and made up for it on Saturday. 20 whole minutes of hide and go seek. We banned hide and go seek after a couple of attempts because when they couldn't find me they would cry...and I just can't handle that. But he said he could play and not cry, and that if he couldn't find me he would keep looking...and he did! He even hid super quiet, instead of the usual. For the longest time we would try and play and all three kids would hide while I was counting, and as soon as I said "Ready or not, here I come" they would come running out to tag me....I think it's safe to say they didn't quite understand the game. So I was thoroughly pleased that we could play while Riley had some screen time and Chase was at a birthday party with his dad. 

It was nice.

Some days are harder than others to fulfill this duty.

Today I got really tired after lunch, and we had a meeting at 2,

so I asked the twins if we could nap and then do our One on One Time after the meeting. They agreed, and promptly fell asleep.

Can I just tell you how glad I am that they are taking naps again?

We got home from the meeting with exactly 20 minutes before we had to get Jacob. I wasn't watching the clock, I just set my alarm on my phone. Well I had forgotten that my alarm was set to silent because of the meeting....20 minutes later it's time to go and Chase didn't get his time (we just didn't mention that Riley got double the time on accident...). He handled it really well, I apologized and kept my word and did it right when we got home. 

It's definitely harder to do two with three kids in the house...

it was a little rough.

But we made it through!

Amy says that this is 

THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOL IN THE TOOL BOX.

Well, here goes nothing.

I can't say that I've seen remarkable improvements in their behavior, but I have seen a change in mine. I've gone from dreading spending 10 minutes PLAYING with each of my three children, to looking forward to it (most days anyways). 

It's not easy, but I think it's worth it.

I also think that we haven't seen these over night changes that some people experience because, like I said, this is the third try of the third time...

But my kids see that I'm trying and that I love to spend time with them. 

And that is making a difference. 

So if you're looking for something to do, I strongly suggest trying Mind, Body and Soul time. Spend 10 minutes with just the two of you, doing whatever they want to do, being completely present physically and emotionally. 

It's not the easiest thing in the world, 

but is anything worth it ever easy?

...

Review of Session 1: We all need to feel emotionally connected, and have independent power and be self-sufficient, kids included. Behavior is not random! They misbehave for a reason. And our behavior can be just as much of a problem as theirs.

And now, on to Session 2. 

Wish us luck.

 We had a lot of fun at the fair. Jacob is really into this mean face right now.

It's tradition.

Halloween was an absolute blast. We are Ninjago! 

They are also very much into making forts lately. They make them out of everything and anything, often leaving a mess in their wake. Robbie made them a giant one that didn't fall down every time you looked at it wrong. They tried to sleep in it over the weekend. They gave up and went to bed...my kind of kids. Who wants to sleep on the floor when you have a comfy bed? Psh.

 

They had a disney dress up day....

I dressed them up on the wrong day.

Yep...that was...not fun.