Hello all!
Long time no see!
Or long time no talk, or read, or write...
whatever.
I don't know about you,
but I've missed me.
If you've been keeping up with me, you'll know that
October through December of last year I was severely depressed.
When you're depressed, you literally can't feel joy or happiness.
You are not yourself.
It's a life sucking kill joy.
And then January rolled around and I was ready to take on the world.
I was finally myself again!
But wait, there's more!
I got sick. Not once, but twice.
Stupid colds.
Then February came on by and I was trying to recover
from a month of sickness, and I got sick.
Again.
But wait, there's more!
March came strolling in and, you guessed it, I got sick.
Again.
So, now that almost a quarter of the new year is over,
I'm finally ready to take on the world.
Unless some other sickness decides to take up residence in my home.
Dear sickness, you are not welcome.
Now I don't know how you're doing on your goals,
but I hope you don't let the things that happen in your life
get in the way of achieving them.
1) Do not touch my eyebrows.
So my first goal of the year is to not touch my eyebrows.
This last month I had a small set back. Very small.
Robbie was out of town and I was all my by lonesome and the kids were driving me crazy. It was late, and I was on the computer, and all of a sudden I had an itch on my eyebrow and my fingers went up and I felt a hair out of place
and I chose to pull it.
It felt so good.
Too bad that it feels so good and looks so bad.
Three hairs.
Do you realize it took me three months to grow those hairs?!
Ugh.
But that's okay, because everyone has trials and setbacks.
Mine just happens to be a compulsion to pull hair.
My eyebrows are lookin' pretty good now though.
Before
Two weeks ago
Today
2) Read my scriptures and pray every day.
I wanted to share with you that I have not been doing very well with this one. I have had my focus on other things, things that I have deemed are more important. I get mad at God because things are so hard, and instead of turning to him I just retreat into myself and do whatever I want to do, and I don't want to read my scriptures or talk to God. It's like I'm a teenager all over again.
Last week at church the lessons were on prayer and the temple, and I was so grateful for the constant reminder that I get that this is where my priority needs to be. Because if my heart is turned to God, everything else will work out.
We've been taking the gospel principles class, and one section in particular stood out to me.
"At times we may not feel like praying.
We may be angry or discouraged or
upset.
At these times we should make a special effort to pray
(see 2 Nephi 32:8–9)...
Our sincere prayers are always answered."
I had the overwhelming feeling that God loves me, and he understands. He is perfect in every way, including being perfect in kindness, forgiveness, understanding, and mercy. The spirit touched my heart and told me that this is why we have a lifetime to learn, and I am so grateful for that.
I felt like I just need to keep trying, every moment of every day. Making the decision to NOT read my scriptures is not just one decision, it's a whole days worth of decisions. It's choosing not to wake up before the kids, it's choosing to yell and let the kids get to me, it's choosing to do everything else first...and then waiting to read and study and ponder until I'm so tired that I'm about to pass out and I decide that I can't do one more thing.
Etc, etc.
It is hard. It is really hard to put the rocks in first.
But it's worth it, and it is a choice.
3) Make more time for friends
Since I was sick and my kids had the sniffles,
we choose to be kind to our friends and not spread our germs.
But we did have friends come in from out of town,
and even though it's only the second time we've ever met,
I think she's adorable and I loved hanging out with her.
And antiquing in Old Town Clovis?
So much fun.
4) Make Chasing Shelby something great
This is happening!!! I can't claim credit, this is all my momma.
Please save the date, and please share and invite your friends!
Hope to see you there.
5) Write my own piano lesson materials
Heck yeah. This is what I've been excited about!
This is what I've been staying up until the wee hours of the morning doing.
I'm done with Unit One.
I'm so excited. I'm literally bursting at the seams!
6) Do more crafts:
finish those t-shirt memory quilts
I'm half way done with number one!
Now I'm self taught, so it's a little rough, but let me tell you that it's so much better than the first two memory quilts I ever did.
And a lady whose quilting racks I'm borrowing is going to show me a technique she said I might like, and since I still have three quilts to go I thought I'd look up some more techniques to help perfect my skills.
Even if I think it's rough, the lady I'm doing this for loves it, so much so she wants me to do one for her daughter, and that makes me so happy that she's happy.
7) Put things away after I take them out
Boo ya, I'm doing pretty darn good at this.
I try to start small, like after I'm done getting ready in the bathroom to take one minute to put it all away, to take that one minute to put my clothes away after I change, to take the three minutes I needed to clean up after a bath, etc etc. It is by small and simple things that great things come to pass.
8) Exercise
Yeah no, I've been sick.
But now I'm healthy, it's back on the list.
9) Work on riding the depression waves
Yes! It helps that I haven't been in a wave...
But I have had some major ups and downs.
Literally, I'd be up one day and then down the next.
I've been riding these days well. I didn't do laundry for two weeks because I was so sick, and I didn't beat myself up about it. My kids literally had no clean clothes one day and I had to force myself to do laundry, but I didn't guilt trip myself about it. I haven't really cooked, one day my kids had three square meals of cereal, but they were fed and happy and I didn't worry about it.
I did what I could when I could,
and I didn't bother about what I couldn't do when I couldn't do it.
It's very liberating, being kind to myself.
10 and 11 I haven't touched,
but I think that's okay, don't you?
Do you want to hear two really cool things before I let you go?
One, in Relief Society today we talked about coincidence.
"Elder Neal A. Maxwell once explained: “None of us ever fully utilizes the people-opportunities allocated to us within our circles of friendship. You and I may call these intersectings ‘coincidence.’ This word is understandable for mortals to use, but coincidence is not an appropriate word to describe the workings of an omniscient God. He does not do things by ‘coincidence’ but … by ‘divine design.’”
I was at church by myself with the kids because Robbie wasn't feeling well and stayed home. I was asked to sub for our choir pianist next week in Sacrament and so I needed to stay for choir after church to get a gist of what the song sounded like. How was I going to do that with my three kids? I had no idea.
I was given three little brownies which served as treats to help occupy my kiddos, and then lo and behold my cousins walked through the door. They were going to their ward choir, which happened to be at the same time as our's. They asked me if I needed help, and of course I said yes. They watched the kids outside at the pavilion for a good half hour (it was only supposed to be 15 minutes, but I was also stopped by someone that I'm subbing for next week so I could get the low down on her calling).
Coincidence that I got three brownies and my cousins walked in the door at the exact same time I was wondering what the heck I was going to do with my three rambunctious little ones?
I think not.
I did the free webinar and I loved it.
She promises that you'll never again yell, nag, remind or raise your voice at your kids again because you'll have much more efficient tools to use to discipline your children. No more punishments, discipline and teaching only.
I did it, I bought the silver package. It's a 30 day money back guarantee, but so far I'm learning so much and loving it.
I mean, that's a pretty hefty claim to make, never have to yell again?
I'll let you know how it goes.
I hope that your year is going as well as mine has.
Good luck on your goals and living your dreams!
Also, some of the things that I'm loving lately that are bringing me joy.
I mean, just look at that little baby succulent! And the frost.
I planted some peony's, papaver's, and strawberries. No luck on the strawberries yet, but the peony's and papaver's are starting to come up! I'm so excited. I thought since the anenome's do so well in this spot, I thought the peony's and papaver's would do well here too. The strawberries are in pots on the fence, and I keep hoping they'll grow! I moved my geraniums to the front yard because I figured that my kids and the mold kill them in the backyard, might as well give the sun a shot at killing them too.
Why hello gorgeous.
Until next time...
