Happy April to you all!
Did you know that the first quarter of this year is gone?
Gone.
Just flew by.
Three months down, nine to go.
And while that may seem like a lot, I get a little worried about my piano students who don't make much progress on their performance pieces that will be performed in December...I mean, you'd think that 11-12 months of prep time would be enough time right? I mean, I really hope so...nine more months...
What I am not worried about are my goals,
and I wanted to share my progress with you,
and make a few changes,
because what are goals if there aren't a few changes now and then.
1) Do not touch my eyebrows
So I decided to change this a little bit.
I couldn't do it.
They grew in! Nice and full, I never, ever thought
that my eyebrows would look like this again.
During Spring Break I finally threw my Prince & Princess Tea Party. Riley refuses to dress up, and I love to dress up, and so having a little girl who doesn't want to dress up with me is very sad. Then she finally put on a dress! And it was the most adorable thing ever.
I so I thought it was finally time to throw a party!
And I wasn't going to throw a princess party without dressing up.
And I couldn't dress up all fancy and not clean up my eyebrows a bit.
Just a little, not a lot. Pictures don't do it justice.
And let me tell you, it was super cute.
Our princes were taught how to let ladies go first, bow,
and give our princesses flowers.
Riley refused to put on a dress.
This isn't even all the kids!
We made everything pretty, thanks to all the help from my friends.
I'm so glad they put up with me and instead of telling me to ignore it, they helped me finish making it pretty. And of course all the treats they brought and their adorable kids, it wouldn't have been a party without them.
We painted nails, did make up, made crowns, ate and played.
Riley did her own nails and make up, she refused to let me do them. And the boys did their make up too, I just couldn't say no to them.
LONG story short, I cleaned up my eyebrows for this occasion.
But of course, as soon as I cleaned them up, I started to look at them, and notice things like my eyebrows are not symmetrical. I started thinking about how I could clean them up more, make them more arched, I just couldn't stop thinking about them.
So since I've done a great job at growing them back,
my new goal is to accept them and love them,
and NOT over pluck them.
EVER AGAIN.
2) Read my scriptures and pray every day
This one as always is difficult.
One of the things that I've been talking about lately with my therapist is that I'm just tired. I've been a stay at home mom for the past four years straight! Going on five years now! And not just for one baby, oh no, for three. Three, in a row.
Back to back.
Raising three babies hardly leaves you any time to do anything else. And making time for self care is super hard, especially when you don't realize how important it is until you've had a couple of break downs.
So basically, raising three babies, and now three toddlers for four years
basically without rest, means that I'm extremely tired.
And when we're tired, we don't want to chew meat and potatoes.
We want soft and yummy, like cake. Cake is good.
Scriptures and prayer = meat and potatoes.
So when you're tired and sick, you just can't.
And that's okay.
So I decided for the past month to do whatever the crap I wanted.
I slept, a lot. The kids watched a lot of TV. I had Mcdonald's, like a lot. One time I had it every other day for a week, it was pretty bad. I didn't guilt myself for not wanting to play with my kids, for not wanting to hear "mom" for the hundredth time in one day. I didn't guilt myself for wanting to cry because being a good mom is really really hard, and every time I wanted to loose my crap I was just honest with my kids and told them that I needed to take a break.
And then I took a good long break.
And do you know what?
I'm finally feeling rested.
And because I'm feeling rested, I'm more patient with the kids and with myself. I'm finally starting to exercise. And I'm finally having the desire to read and pray.
I figured it out. You have to have enough rest.
And of course, a desire.
And when you beat yourself up about how much rest you need,
guess what! You're not resting!!!
That stress is sucking all the rest out of you.
If you're dead, or dead on your feet, you're not good to anyone.
Including yourself.
And no matter how much you have the desire,
you just can't if you're not rested.
Robbie and I had the same impression during conference,
we need to start living as if the second coming is tomorrow.
I know that when you bring a question to conference with a sincere heart that you will find an answer. I didn't get to watch Saturday's because we were at Robbie's parents. I got up early on Sunday and helped with breakfast and the kids, and by the time the morning conference started I needed a break. So I took a break, went and laid down, and missed that conference too. The only one I saw was the last session, and even though I only watched that one, God still answered my prayer.
I prayed for courage, for strength to be more consistent and committed
to doing the things that I need to do and still take care of myself.
And then I heard Elder Holland say this.
"Our prayer today is that every man and woman...
will leave this general conference more deeply committed
to
heartfelt care for one another [including yourself],
motivated only by the pure love of
Christ to do so.
In spite of what we all feel are our limitations and
inadequacies
—and we all have challenges—
nevertheless, may we labor side
by side with the Lord of the vineyard
giving the God and Father of us all a helping hand with His
staggering
task of answering prayers, providing comfort,
drying tears, and
strengthening feeble knees.
If we will do that, we will be more like the
true disciples of Christ we are meant to be."
I know to you that might be like, what?
But trust me, that was the answer.
So, I think that's enough for one night.
Don't you?
I hope you enjoy my journal.
I hope that my musings bring joy and comfort and help you find a deeper commitment to following your dreams and completing your own goals.
This one life is all we have.
Let's go make the most of it.
Even naps.
Enjoy and take the rest you need so you can enjoy everything else.
"Mistakes are a fact of life.
Learning to
skillfully play the piano is essentially impossible
without making
thousands of mistakes—maybe even a million.
To learn a foreign language,
one must face the embarrassment of
making thousands of mistakes—maybe
even a million.
Even the world’s greatest athletes never stop making
mistakes.
“Success,” it has been said, “isn’t the absence of failure,
but going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm.”
With
his invention of the light bulb, Thomas Edison purportedly said, “I
didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000
steps.” Charles F. Kettering called failures “finger posts on the road to achievement.”
Hopefully, each mistake we make becomes a lesson in wisdom,
turning stumbling blocks into stepping-stones."
The rest of his talk is amazing, check it out.
Until next time...
