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Expecting

Friday, January 25, 2013

So it's very much official....

Robbie and I are expecting!

To some of you this might not be news...even when I thought it would be a big surprise when we told the family at Christmas, they all kinda figured it out.

I haven't been trying to give it away...
I guess the
...
saltines
plastic bags
tums
peppermints
pregnancy books and info I leave everywhere (because I swear I'm losing brain cells by the minute)
and the fact that I can't stand certain smells
or eat anything
and sleep all the time
....
kind of gave it away.

I'll be 13 weeks on Sunday. First trimester, BAM! Done.

Would you like to hear the story?

So my ovulation cycles were not normal. Oh how I had wished that every four weeks I'd have my period, then a week or so later start ovulating etc etc. But it was not to be. My cycles were anywhere from 6-9 weeks long. Do you know how long that is? Of course you do. It's 6-9 weeks. That's 42-63 days instead of the normal 28 days. That means our chances of conceiving were diminished from one shot every month, to ONE SHOT in about 2 months. A normal woman has about 12 chances in a year to conceive, I had about 6.

The odds were against us.

I was starting to lose hope.

I know, I'm a big cry baby...there are women who try for years and still don't lose hope. I'm obviously not very mature when it comes to patience and waiting, although I feel I've learned a lot in the 6 or so months we were trying. I think God knows who I am, and what I can handle. I had prepared myself to wait for as long as it was going to take, and then He didn't make me wait any longer.

I thought we'd have to go get tested.
 (and maybe next time we'll have to, who knows?)

So I was waiting...the long 9 weeks for my next period...

And by this time I wasn't even waiting anymore.

I stopped stressing out about it, stopped scheduling sex around when I thought I was ovulating, ate whatever I wanted, didn't take my prenatal vitamins if I didn't feel like it...Robbie and I embraced the feeling and idea of it'll happen when it's supposed to happen, and we would be grateful and happy when it did. (Communication, when trying to make a baby, is just as important as having sex. If you're not on the same page, and you're stressed out, I strongly believe it probably won't happen. At least, not until you get on the same page and stop stressing.)

And then all of a sudden I started drooling.

And my breasts got really tender, painful to the touch.

And I got nauseous constantly.

I couldn't get up in the morning to save my life. Seriously, the house could be on fire and I would still be in bed saying "Just one more hour".

My dog, who I love, I couldn't be in the same room with her she smelled so bad.
Robbie gave her a bath...it made the smell worse.

I was in ballet, and we were spinning round and round and round. I couldn't control my emotions, and I don't know how I kept the vomit down.

I thought, for $1, I can afford to be curious. I can go get a pregnancy test at the dollar tree store. My period wasn't supposed to come for another week, but I was so nauseous and not throwing up like I figured I would if I had a bug... maybe?

That double pink line wasn't faint, it was like BOOM! YOU'RE PREGNANT!

what?
no.
really?
no.

I went and got the $23 double pack digital ones just to be sure. It came back positive also.

I was in shock. I hadn't been eating well, I hadn't been taking my prenatals...turns out I was already 6 weeks. Did you know at 6 weeks your baby has a heart beat? 131 bpm. That was about the only thing you could see on that first ultra sound was that little flutter of it's heart.

At 10 weeks the ultrasound showed clearly a body with a large head, and arms and legs with little hands and feet. It was moving around, up and down...inside of me. It put its little hand to its mouth and started sucking on it.

I'm just starting to show a little. You know how usually you can suck your stomach in and show your ribs and stuff? I can't do that anymore. And you can tell it's not just my normal pudge or bloat, if you feel or poke it there is something hard in there.

I totally get the alien movies now. For real.

I still can't stand certain smells, though my dog is tolerable thank goodness.

I still can't eat certain foods.

I've only thrown up once.

I don't get as car sick or motion sick as I did the first weeks, but it's still not great.

I sleep probably 12 hours a day.

I'm counting my many blessings.

One of which is a loving husband who understands that I would love to be up and doing things around the house, but I'm just so tired! He has been so kind and supportive, being appreciative when I do get stuff done and being grateful when I do take it easy and rest.

The other, that it's sleep and nightly indigestion and gas that's plaguing me instead of morning sickness. Vomiting and needles are two of my biggest fears. I'm grateful God has given me only what He knows I can handle, because He knows I'm a chicken when it comes to pain and fear. I hope and pray it just gets better from here on out instead of worse.

Looking back around the time of conception, almost the exact day of was when Robbie actually got on board and actually wanted to have a baby instead of just saying he wanted to have one.

God works in mysterious ways.

I'm hoping and praying that nothing bad happens. I guess, even though I'm almost done with the first trimester, I could still have a miscarriage. We won't know till 18 weeks if there will be any abnormalities or health problems that can be seen (and then who knows what can happen during delivery). I sound rather pessimistic, don't I? Really, it's more realistic. Keeping in mind that anything is possible, including a good pregnancy to term with a healthy baby at the end.

I'm so grateful for my many blessings.

And I'm so excited to start prepping for this new addition to our family!  
 
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