Love, Understanding, and Hope

Ministering as the Savior Would

 I have been asked so many times about my talk that I gave a few weeks ago in church, and since I'm referencing it in my next post I wanted to share.

I was asked to give a talk on ministering as the Savior would. My first thought, which I said out loud, was "aren't we beating a dead horse?" It feels like every single lesson, every single talk, is on ministering! And the brother that was asking me said the best thing ever. He said, "Interesting. I want you to tell us about it." So I got my stubborn butt up and started thinking about it. I kept dreaming about experiences I'd had in the past few years, I couldn't shake some of these thoughts, so I figured God was trying to tell me something. As I pondered these stories of my life more, I realized that God had been teaching me about ministering as the Savior would all along.

Here's my talk.

         For most of my life I did not have a full testimony, or complete understanding, of service, visiting teaching, or home teaching. I knew that we were commanded to do it, but I had a flawed view of it. I believed that there was a line, and this line separated those who needed help and those who didn’t, those who did their visiting and home teaching and those who didn’t, those that gave service and those who didn't. I was always on one side, the side that didn’t need help. I was on the side that was independent, self reliant, and always able to help others. I was on the side that always did my visiting teaching, but never needed visiting teachers to come see me. I was on the side that never needed help from anyone or anything. 

Boy did God show me I was wrong.

        

Mosiah 4:19 says “Are we not ALL beggars? Do we not ALL depend upon the same Being, even God”? Well the answer is yes, we all need the Savior, and we all need help, in some degree, at one time or another. So I’d like to share with you a few experiences that God gave me to help teach me that there is no line separating those who need help and those who don’t, and also how to minister as the Savior would.

        

The first experience that really rocked my world was when I was pregnant with the twins. I was put on bed rest, and Jacob had to be taken care of by others so I wouldn’t go into labor early. For the first time in my life I literally couldn’t do something, and needed someone else’s help, and a lot of it. Every day Robbie would take Jacob to someone’s house and they would watch him all day, and then Robbie would pick him up on his way home from work. Then Robbie would take care of him the rest of the night, and then take care of me and the house. This went on for months, and all I could do was sit there, be an incubator, and accept the help. It hurt, needing so much help. I thought great, I’m on “THAT” side of the line, I’m one of the people who needs help.

        

In John chapter 13 we read about how Jesus washed his apostle’s feet. 

Can you only imagine? Jesus, the Savior, the one who will atone for your sins, is also washing your feet? Would you say as Peter did, no, you can’t wash my feet. No, I can do that. No, I’m on this side of the line, the side that doesn’t need any help. Then Jesus said to him, “If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me”. Then Peter said, don’t stop at my feet, wash my head and hands too! And then Jesus said as I’ve washed your feet, go and wash one another’s. 

There is no line between those that need help and those that don’t. 

We all need help, of varying degrees, at one time or another. 

The second experience was also while I was pregnant with the twins and on bed rest. Jacob was sick, and he was going up to Coarsegold with my parents for the weekend. I sent up the prescription we had filled, but forgot to send up fever reducers. We got a call in the middle of the night: Jacob’s fever had spiked, and my mom didn’t have any infant medicine. By the time she got back from buying some, his fever had gotten too high and he had a febril seizure. They had called 911, and an ambulance had taken him to Children’s Hospital. Robbie went to meet them, and I freaked out. I had no idea what a febril seizure was, and being extremely pregnant and hormonal I thought my son was going to die. I didn’t want to be alone, waiting, not knowing what was going to happen. My friend popped into my head, and despite being past midnight, I called her. She talked to me, comforted me, distracted me, and waited with me for news. I felt like she was there holding me, but she was really just on the phone.

Jacob was fine, I learned all about febril seizures, and how expensive ambulances are…She was there for me, even at an inconvenient time, and even though my fears were completely irrational.

The third experience is similar to the second. My mom was there for me at an inconvenient time. Shortly after the twins were born, Robbie caught a nasty 24 hour bug. A few hours later Jacob had it, then the twins, then I started to get queasy. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew that I couldn’t take care of those babies if I was going to be as sick as Robbie was. So I called my mom, and without skipping a beat she said “I’ll be right there.” She was just getting off work, and she lived 45 minutes away, so that gave me 45 minutes to regret asking her for help. I opened the door sobbing, apologizing for having her come all this way just to get sick. She said “don’t you worry about it. Give me those babies.” I did, and then I ran to the bathroom. She stayed up all night taking care of us, then kissed me goodbye in the morning and headed to work. I asked her later if she had gotten sick, and she said “yes, but it was only a 24 hour bug, no big deal.” I apologized again, and she said “You don’t have to be sorry, I will always be there for you.”

Mosiah 18: 8-9 reads “As ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places.” 

There will be times when we are the bearers, we are the comforters, and we are the ones standing steadfastly. But there will be times when we are in need of bearing, we are in need of comfort, and we need others to help strengthen our feeble knees. 

We must do service, and also accept service.

The fourth experience is ongoing. My untreated post partum depression turned into full blown depression and anxiety. Anti depressants, therapy, and three years of hard work have gotten me here, to where I recognize the girl in the mirror and can be happy again. But there were a lot of rough times along the way. 

Because of my depression I did things that I had never done before, and that I had judged others for doing. I dropped the ball. A lot. And I couldn’t get back on it to save my life. I couldn’t get out of bed, and I hated getting dressed and going anywhere. I couldn’t care. I became a flake, and couldn’t handle the anxiety of phone calls or texts or play dates or things that weren’t 100% necessary. I had a hard time following through on things, and sometimes just couldn’t do them at all. I was doing things poorly, not able to do things 100%. I wasn’t meeting my expectations, or others. I was late to almost everything that I did go to because I could barely get myself to go at all.

I still have bad days, days where everything I just listed happens. And I used to hate this trial. I thought cancer would be better because then people wouldn’t be so judgmental. You can see cancer, and chemo. But often times when people looked at me, instead of seeing sick they saw quitter, incompetent, flake. 

I had to learn that that wasn’t who I was. I had to learn to love myself, even though I was sick and not fully myself. I had to accept that Christ loves me unconditionally, no matter what. I used to hate this trial, but now, on good days, I thank God for it. Because it has shown me how to love myself unconditionally, to be understanding and patient when I’m not able to do everything I think I should or could. 

It has shown me how deeply my Savior loves me, 

and how understanding and patient He is with me. 

And it has shown me how to be loving, 

and understanding, and patient with others.

Romans 3:23 reads “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” We cannot expect others or ourselves to be perfect! No one is. This kind of unattainable expectation only leads to judgment, pride, and anger. My experiences have taught me that life is easier and more beautiful when we can see the good in other people, instead of focusing on the bad. And that life is so much simpler when we allow others and ourselves to be inadequate and not expect perfection. When we accept our best efforts, and the efforts of others, whether it be their best or not.

“We’re supposed to be WORKING on perfection, not beating ourselves up for not being there yet.” “If our attempts are but feeble, they will make us better and nobler than if we made no effort whatsoever.” Sister Holland said “We must have the courage to be imperfect.” We have to try ministering, even though our attempts may be feeble and imperfect.

President Nelson said “This ministering concept is not just a different name for home teaching and visiting teaching. It is a different concept. It really is a higher and holier way that we want our people to LIVE, because we want them to LIVE as the Lord would LIVE and LOVE...”

        

President Monson said “Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life.” He also said “What is most important almost always involves the people around us. NEVER let a problem to be solved (or may I add an imperfection or inability to meet expectations) become more important than a person to be loved.” This requires so much patience. Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different way than the one we had in mind.

So who do we love? Who do we minister to? Jesus shared the parable of the good Samaritan when asked who is my neighbor? President Kimball said “We must remember that those mortals we meet in parking offices, elevators, and elsewhere are that portion of mankind that God has given us to LOVE AND TO SERVE.” Everyone who crosses our path is our neighbor, not just those we are assigned to.

Elder Holland said of ministering I “suggest that you not wait for many more instructions, just jump into the pool and swim.” So lets do it. Lets minister the way the Savior would, to those we are assigned to and to everyone that comes into our life. Lets minister by showing unconditional love, understanding, and patience, to ourselves and to others, the way Jesus does for us, especially when we mess up. Let’s jump in. Let’s remember that we all fall short, and that we all need help.

I am so grateful for the trials and experiences God has given me to teach me. I have a testimony of ministering, and I have a testimony of my Savior. I know Jesus lives, I know he atoned for our sins and that he experienced everything we did so He could know how to comfort and help us through this life. I’m so grateful for Him and His perfect example. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.