Sex is a funny subject.
Those of us who are LDS are taught
from the time we're kids that chastity is the way to go.
Often times, we learn that sex is bad, instead of sex is sacred.
So then we get married...
and suddenly it's okay.
It's more than okay, it's encouraged!
But, but but but...
Ah!
At least that was my experience.
And then kids came along, and depression.
Marriage takes a lot of work, and sometimes sex does too.
Start Quote
The women I know lust after twelve hours of uninterrupted slumber.
The only married women having sex as often as the
magazines and marriage experts tell us we should be
are on the soaps.
Often the real-life demands of family and work mean that married women discover there are many ways to make love besides the missionary position: turning the lights down low...never going to sleep without saying "I love you"; calling once a day just to see how it's going; attending a couples' massage workshop to learn how to do it yourselves...telling each other how nice you look; touching...filling up the talk...doing the crossword puzzle together...reading, talking, laughing, crying together in bed.
"Exhaustion and lack of privacy make intimate moments of raw passion rarer than in our courting days...Sex is also meeting your partner's eyes over the tousled head of a child...Sex is sometimes just sleeping well beside the person you love, and drinking coffee together."
-Linda Aaker
End Quote
Marriage is hard.
It is so, so hard.
But if you're doing it right,
sex isn't that hard.
If you're kissing often,
kiss your spouse good morning, after prayers, good-bye,
kiss your children as often as possible,
then kiss your spouse when they come home,
and a couple more times before bed,
you're breaking down the physical barriers.
And touching. Don't forget to hold hands, to hug...etc etc.
If you're complimenting each other, serving each other,
thinking about how you can make their day better,
having good, open and honest communication,
continuing to date each other,
staying healthy and becoming your authentic self,
and staying true to your spouse...
etc etc etc...
sex isn't so hard.
If you're making a conscious effort to get enough sleep
so you're not too exhausted,
if you accept your reality that it is what it is and be happy with the fact that you probably can't be spontaneous until your kids leave the house,
learning how to communicate about sex and each other's needs and wants...
Anyways, there's a lot to it,
but at the same time there's not.
Making love is important.
So is a happy marriage.
Take the time to work on it.
There are worse things you could be doing.
Also, there are sex therapists.
Not like creepy people,
like my therapist is also a sex therapist,
and she's super cool.
Just in case you might need one,
no shame.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) Sundays.
2) Robbie let me sleep in until 10:30.
3) Taking it easy and doing what we needed. We bathed the kiddos, and we thought we would just feed them and go to church...nope. They were all freaking out, so we put them down for a nap. They didn't get up until 2. Then half an hour to eat lunch, and finally we're at church in time for the last of second hour. Let sleeping babies lie.
4) Freezer meals.
5) Putting up the Christmas tree, the stockings, and nativity. It's starting to feel like Christmas.
