Facebook Etiquette

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Just the other day I was reading something a friend posted and the comments that ensued. 

I was horrified.

Not only was she attacked for her opinion and asking a simple question, when she mentioned that she felt judged and attacked they told her that these feelings also were wrong.

What terrible "friends" my friend has.

I've made it a point to stand up to social media and the trolls, and so should you. You don't have to put up with the crap that people are going to throw at you, so don't. 

Let us start with what should be posted on Facebook.

What's going on in your life and your opinions

Some people have taken it upon themselves to tell you that what you're doing in your life is wrong. Some might argue that since you're putting it out there you're essentially giving them the right to comment…and while I think that that is true, it doesn't give them the right to be rude awful people. If you don't agree with a decision someone made or the direction they've chosen to take their life that's fine, but when did you decide that it was okay to make them feel terrible? 

Some people have taken it upon themselves to change the world by posting their opinions. Sometimes they can get really obnoxious, and then often times they decide to attack others who disagree. This is not okay. 

All of it. None of it is okay. 

Now let me be clear: you can not change people. The only way a person is going to change is if they want to, and they will change themselves, not you. If someone disagrees with you, attacking them on social media is not going to change them. What will it accomplish? Adding anger and hatred to this world is the only accomplishment. Does that make you proud?

If someone posts opinions that are contrary to yours and you want to say something, I can almost guarantee that you're not wanting to "change" their minds. You might put on that facade, but it's just that, an act. All you're really wanting to do is tell them how horrible they are for disagreeing with you. 

And that's not okay. 

So just don't.

Exercise some self control.

Don't be a troll. 

Treat others the way you'd want to be treated. And I think it's safe to say that no one wants to be attacked. 

What you should do

Be friends and agree to disagree. Meet up and maybe have a discussion, because Facebook isn't the place to have a discussion. Maybe in a message, but otherwise if you're worried about someone because of their opinion and want to help them out you need to meet up in real life face to face and have a civil discussion about the topic. 

If someone is a troll, why be their "friend"? What do you gain from the "friendship" on Facebook other than feelings of hatred and anger? Clean up and get rid of them, especially if you don't feel like giving them a second chance. Of course it might be nice to tell them why you're unfriending them, but because they're a troll and people don't change easily, they'll likely take offense and just attack you. 

I've unfriended people that have been trolls. I've been unfriended because I acted like a troll, and the other person just as much but they'll never accept that they were in the wrong also so why bother? Give it up. Let it go. They're not worth it. Surround yourself with good people, and a lot of good people have different lifestyles and different opinions. Keep an open mind, agree to disagree, even if you think they're very very very wrong. It doesn't matter. 

Also, unfriend people that aren't "friends". I don't like people who do certain things, especially if it's affecting me. I never see them in real life and they've made it quite clear they don't desire my friendship in real life. Make your peace and move on. Not everyone is going to love you, or even like you…and you aren't going to love or even like everyone either. Let's face it, we're not perfect. And it's okay! Who wants more than a couple of good friends anyways. Quality over quantity wins every time. 

And of course evaluate your own life. Don't be in denial. If someone says you're being rude, maybe they have a point. Maybe you didn't mean to be, but you came across rude to them. Maybe they're in the wrong, but more than likely you're also in the wrong. Think before you speak. Think can be a great acronym for many different words.
                                              T - for thoughtful or true
                                              H - for helpful or honest
                                              I - for inspiring or intelligent
                                              N - for necessary or needful
                                              K - for kind

If what you have to say isn't any of these things, then what are you saying? 

Now of course I know that I can't change you by writing all of this. You might not read it, or share it…and I'm not trying to change you. I used to be a bit of a troll, and I changed my ways or at least I've tried to. It's a constant battle of self control to hold your tongue, or in this case your fingers. But I've been happier for it. So I write this in the hope that maybe someone who reads this will want to change their ways, and find a little more happiness in this life than the anger and hatred they may have been feeling. And if not, oh well. No skin off my back. I wish you the best of luck. 

Happy Facebooking.