I've always believed this.
I've always thought if I just had more money,

that I'd be able to do all the things in life I wanted to do.  

But I've learned that the trick is to

 live how you want to live on what you've got.

 

Start Quote

 Without a doubt, we'd all be darling millionaires.

We know that money can't buy happiness, 

but we also know where to shop.

The problem for many of us is that 

too often we act as if we're already millionaires. 

"Acting as if" is a very powerful psychological tool 

to help us make positive life changes. 

We act as if we're confident and we become so. 

We act as if we're clean and sober and we stay so. 

We act as if we're serene and we 

experience more moments of calm in our daily round. 

"Acting as if" can improve the quality of our lives enormously, 

with one exception: spending money. 

You can't act as if you have all the 

money in the world if you don't. 

You can't spend money as if there were no tomorrow

if you can't cover the check, pay off the charge card bill monthly 

or barely make your minimum.

As far as paying for your pleasure is concerned, 

tomorrow always arrives in a white envelope

 at the end of the month...

[There's spenders and savers, but there is a happy middle ground.]

Taking the middle path of money

- Simple Abundance -

is really taking the best from both approaches;

extravagance and asceticism.

Extravagance offers gratification and a feeling of abundance.

Asceticism endows simplicity and a sense of security. 

Simple abundance offers it all.

 

One of the greatest gifts my husband has ever given me is the ability to think before I spend. This is how savers behave. Savers don't get a high from recreational shopping. Savers don't shop in order to make themselves feel better. Savers have seen many sales they can walk away from. Should they have to spend money, savers will ask, "Do I really want this? Do I really need this? Can I do without this? Where can I find this 50 percent off?" Like naturally thin people who don't eat when they're not hungry, savers don't spend if they don't have to.  And they certainly never squander money. Savers put aside for rainy days, which is why they don't panic when the roof starts leaking.

An interesting eye-opener is to discover how much money you've earned in your lifetime...You will be astounded at how much money has passed through your hands. It's even possible that you've seen several million dollars come and go.

This comes as no surprise to Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, authors of  

Your Money or Your Life, a guide to achieving financial independence by transforming your relationship to money.

"Money is something we choose to trade our life energy for.

Our life energy is our allotment of time here on earth, 

the hours of precious life available to us...

it is limited and irretrievable...our choices about how we use it 

express the meaning and purpose of our time here on earth."

It's amazing how this enlightened definition of money

can alter the shopping experience. 

Is that $90 blouse really worth six hours of your life? 

This week, keep track of your every expenditure, be it large or small, routine or one-time-only, for services rendered or for actual purchases, 

and whether it's made with cash, check, or credit card...

At the end of the week...list your expenditures under these headings: 

Necessities, Comforts, Wants, Indulgences, Extravagances, Insanity.

How much life energy did you spend?

Was it worth it?

What expenditures make you sigh?

With happy recollection or with regret?

Now look at the choices that make you feel uncomfortable.

What could you have passed up without a sense of deprivation kicking in? Now take that amount and multiply it by fifty-two. I'd be willing to bet that the total amounts to a nice chunk of change that could have been saved either for an authentic want that would thrill you or for a peace-of-mind savings investment. And you probably wouldn't even have missed it...

Today, be willing to gently explore your life-energy expenditures. 

Don't blame yourself for bad choices.

Do attempt to make better ones.

Most of our problems in handling money stem from unexamined patterns 

rather than from uncontrollable urges. 

End Quote

 In short, make a budget.

*** 

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Finally finishing those costumes yesterday meant I had so much more time today. All of a sudden it seemed I had all the time in the world, I cleaned up my craft room so I could actually do a craft.

 Ta da! Bats. Pretty, sparkly, bats. It'll only be up for a few days, but I'm okay with that.

2) Robbie was home at 5 today. After two weeks of late nights, I was so grateful to have him home.

3) Dave Ramsey, and parents who taught me to not spend more then I made and to think before I buy.

4) Debt free. The only debt we have is the mortgage, which to me seems normal...but according to statistics a lot of people have a lot more debt than that. I'm very grateful.

5) My Shark vacuum. It's amazing. 

October 25th - Paying The Bills

Sometimes bills suck. 

It hurts to write that mortgage check 

knowing that so little goes to the principle.

When we had two car payments?

That was awful.

Oh, when we were paying for healthcare

through the nose...it was literally an arm and a leg.

But we pay them,

because we like having a roof over our heads,

we like having freedom of transportation,

and we like being able to go to the doctor if we need to.

Start Quote

[If you put off paying your bills 

you're] setting in motion a cycle of misery. 

Bill paying becomes a painful issue,  

releasing toxic emotions that keep us locked in lack.

Of course we're not trying to stiff anybody.

All we're trying to do is make ends meet,

which seems to get harder each week.

And then when the ends don't meet, we panic...

If money doesn't make the world go round, 

"services rendered" certainly does.

We can pay for those services more serenely, 

even when we're strapped, 

by remembering that all financial transactions 

really boil down to an exchange of energy. 

Someone provides us with energy in the form of 

heat, light, food, gas, clothing, shelter, the ability to speak to others 

over airwaves, or watch movies from the comfort of our couches. 

We reciprocate by paying for those services 

through energy in the form of money...

We can keep a constant flow of money in our daily round 

through giving with love and paying what we owe with gratitude. 

Once, in a flush season when I had 

no reason to worry about money,

I created a ritual for paying bills.

At the beginning and the middle of each month, 

I would set aside a half hour to quietly, 

consciously settle my accounts. 

I'd clear my desktop, leaving only my 

bills, checkbook, calculator, envelopes, and stamps in view. 

As I worked, I'd play soft, soothing music, and sip a lovely 

cup of tea, and pay loving attention to what I was doing. 

As a result, I actually began to enjoy the experience.

When leaner times arrived, I still relied on the 

power of ritual to keep me positive. 

If I was feeling frightened, I would retrieve the memories 

of when I paid bills with ease, recalling the positive feelings 

of plenty: well-being, peace, security, freedom. 

Since our subconscious minds cannot distinguish between 

reality and fantasy, I would begin to relax. 

Even if my reality was not set during a season of plenty, 

I gradually came to know contentment in the season of enough....

"Guard me against the arrogance of privilege, 

against the indulgence of feeling 

that I don't have enough,

and the poverty of spirit that refuses to 

acknowledge what is daily given me,"

Gunilla Norris writes in...Being Home.

"Keep me truthful in knowing where I spend, 

where my values actually are.

Let me not skip this monthly knowing.

Instruct me in judicious spending 

and in gratitude with no holds barred."

End Quote

Robbie and I love mint, and it's free!

We keep every receipt and know 

exactly what we spend and where.

Mint helps us stay aware of where we are, 

and it's nice to check when I'm out shopping 

and I forget how much I have in a certain budget.

Our goal is to look at it daily, because if you do 

a little every day then it only takes a minute. 

I'd rather not spend a half hour at the beginning of the month 

and the middle, because for me that half hour turns into an hour. 

Our ritual is to do it together.

Now I've been having a rough time with my depression 

and anxiety, and so I avoid things that cause me to stress, 

like looking at the budget. Robbie has been so good as to 

keep up on it every day, since it only takes a minute, and 

I look at it on good days, but it's a team effort. 

Your budget and bill paying should be done together. 

You're a team aren't you? 

If bills cause you stress, try Sarah's ritual or make one of your own. 

And try to think of it as an exchange of energy, not as a burden.

If you change the way you think, 

you'll change the world around you. 

We've got bills to pay, 

we've got mouths to feed,

there ain't nothin in this world for free. 

Name that tune.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) The last episode of season 3 of White Collar. Robbie had spoiled it for me because he started watching ahead and I've been playing catch up, but he did not prepare me for the emotions. I love when a story gets you so caught up that it actually makes you feel something, as if these characters were real, as if it is or could happen to you. So good.

2) I finished the costumes. Just don't look to closely...I finished with Robbie's last and by then I was so done I got a little sloppy. I don't think I've ever cut it this close to Halloween before. I was all prepared with the fabric at the beginning of the year, but then I just kept putting off actually making them until the beginning of October...procrastination, even if unintentional, sucks. I'm glad they're done! Now I can't wait to wear them!

3) We woke up to Jacob vomiting and having diarrhea, not pretty. But I'm very grateful: all the poop went in the toilet, and the vomit in a shirt. And we were only woken up at 5:55am, that's not too terrible. 

4) I'm grateful that Jacob is feeling better. I don't think it's a bug, no fever and no more vomit. I'm hoping something just didn't agree with him and he can stop pooping his underwear tomorrow. I finally put him in a pull-up, and he went through 5 when I wasn't looking. He told me he didn't pee in them, but I'm pretty sure it was him. I don't get toddlers sometimes, I do not see the appeal to wetting yourself.

5) Robbie. He was super dad today. Both boys got up, I took Chase and he took Jacob. I laid back in bed because I thought Jacob was okay, well he wasn't. After he was done with the toilet Robbie went to put him back to bed, and that's when I heard the awful retching sound that makes you jump out of bed as if the house is on fire. I get to the bathroom, and Robbie is pulling the shirt off his back so Jacob has something to retch into. I think he just earned dad of the year for that one. 

October 24th - Worrying About Money

"Concern should drive us into action 

and not into a depression."

-Karen Horney

Worrying never did anyone any good.

Start Quote

Worrying about money never paid a bill.

 If it did, at least there'd be a 

legitimate reason for indulging in worry.

Actually, worrying about money repels,

rather than attracts, prosperity

- not exactly what we had in mind.

Worrying about money sends toxic signals:

fear, lack, deprivation.

When your subconscious mind 

continually receives negative impulses,

it duplicates in your daily round

whatever it was instructed to manifest,

such as fear, lack, deprivation.

Don't panic.

Every little thought you've ever had doesn't instantly materialize.

Thank God.

The results of our thinking can take years to appear in our lives,

but as a woman thinketh, so doth she experience...

Love is the most powerful positive emotion in existence.

Love attracts. 

As [you sow], so [shall you reap]...

 [So don't sow worry.]

[But] thinking about money [even in a positive way]

every minute of every day until the millennium 

isn't how I choose to live. 

But what are the alternatives to worry?

First,

calculate whether you have enough money 

for all your needs TODAY.

[That means make a budget!]

If you do, stop focusing on lack this minute...

Anytime you have more than you need,

you have abundance.

Catch yourself the next time you start 

dwelling on what you don't have;  

switch tracks by noticing and appreciating all you do have.

As this becomes a personal habit, 

you'll find yourself coping well with 

any amount of money you have, 

rather than worrying about it.

Worry is a future-tense emotion.

Worry is a projection of a possible

 - not necessarily probable - scenario.

Will there be enough?

Where will it come from?

How long will it last?...

Instead of worrying, consider what 

ACTIONS you could take to create money. 

"Ask yourself, 'How can I 

CREATE money today?'

There is an enormous difference in the 

energy you send out to the universe when you focus on 

CREATING money rather than NEEDING money..." 

- Creating Money: Keys to Abundance 

Transforming every "What will I do?"

into "What CAN I do?"

fuels your fiscal creativity, 

restoring a sense of peace as you pursue prosperity. 

"Constant worry about money 

blocks your creativity and clear thinking," 

Roman and Packer remind us. 

"When you have very little money, 

you are learning many lessons that will 

make it easier to handle money when it comes. 

To break through this level, you may need to 

keep your life simple and uncomplicated in terms of 

money, expenses, demands and needs. 

Think of yourself as the rose bush that is cut back in the winter 

so that it may grow strong in the spring."

End Quote

This is one thing that I will never understand about 

those who cry for more government aid.

I appreciate help given when help is needed, 

for goodness sake our family needed WIC for almost a year

and Robbie and I both used FAFSA to finish our last few semesters of college.

But I also know that individuals 

create more wealth with less waste 

than the government does.  

At least, smart individuals who are wise with their money.

Let me tell you from my personal experience,

I am very grateful for the financial help and 

that we live in a country that is so giving. 

 But we did not get out of "poverty" because of the help.

We got out of "poverty" because Robbie worked his butt off

and improved his skills and knowledge and made himself 

a valuable asset to the company, so much so that 

often times it seems they can't function without him. 

He has decreased waste and increased their profits, 

and that's why they pay him "the big bucks". 

And because we live within our means.

You can not blame the world for your troubles. 

You can not expect to live a middle class life

working a minimum wage job. 

If you want to make more money, 

you have to figure out how to create it,

legally.

Hopefully that doesn't mean taking money from someone else

and creating even more laws and taxes to do so. 

If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty conservative,

and I'm pretty much an objectivist. 

Politics and politicians aside, I dislike all of them in all parties.

Please also consider how many rich people you know...

in my experience, they worked smarter and harder.

And I'm not talking crony capitalism,

I'm talking about the honest to God American Dream. 

Anyways, long story short,

don't worry. 

It won't help a bit.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Learning lessons. Do not run into doors. I repeat, DO NOT RUN INTO DOORS. Not fun. Do you see the welt on my eyebrow? Ouch.

2) Dinner with a friend, and our kids playing together.

3) I'm almost done with Halloween costumes. I'm so grateful and excited.

4) I'm grateful for my cute kids. Seeing them smile at me and knowing that they love me and I love them, it's the best thing in the world.

5) I'm so grateful for my whole house fan and these cool fall nights. Now if the days could just be cool as well, that would be nice...but you know, I'm grateful for what we do have.