It feels like we haven't taken a vacation in forever, maybe because we've been having babies for the past three years...When you think about life with an eternal perspective 5 years is not very long, and we did a lot of things in 5 years.

Since we've gotten married we both earned our bachelor degrees, we bought a house, we bought one car and a van, we have a dog and a cat (the fish died of old age), and we had three babies. We have served in many different church callings, from nursery and Primary, to Relief Society and Elders Quorum, and Young Womens and seminary. Robbie has now had two jobs, and I never really had a full time gig besides being a mom, I just did the small stuff like clowning and piano lessons.

The last vacation I remember was when I was hugely pregnant with Jacob, and we went with our friends to Tahoe. That was over two years ago. Since then we've had Jacob at his grandparents house for the weekend, but we never went anywhere or did anything. And by the time he was old enough to spend the night at his grandparents we were pregnant with the twins. It's been a sleepless, loud, and dirty three years. Wonderful, yes, but Robbie and I needed a break. A nice, long, kid free break.

So we dropped the kids off Thursday afternoon and headed to Monterey. We didn't call home until we were on our way back Sunday afternoon.

We stayed at this beautiful place, and since we treated it like a second honeymoon we kind of went all out and got a room with a view. We slept in, and didn't have any kind of schedule other than our own. We ate when we were hungry, and the food was so good. We slept when we were tired. When we just wanted to sit and enjoy the view we did. We had breakfast in bed every morning and watched the seals playing in the kelp. We went to the aquarium, and split it into two days because that's what we felt like doing so we didn't feel like we had to cram and see everything in one day. I got a massage. We went to see the new Jurassic World movie. We walked Cannery Row over and over.

We prayed about moving to Clovis, and the answer most definitely was yes. When you think about how cool it is how the apostles and prophet all have to come to the same answer, and that's how you know it's from God...doing that with your husband is almost cooler than that.

We also prayed about having a fourth child. God works in mysterious ways. This is the second time that He's done this to me. The first time was when Robbie and I had been dating for six months and it was either time to end it or time to get married, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I prayed about it, and the answer I got was not the answer I wanted. When I asked "am I supposed to marry him" I very clearly heard the word "no". It's really kind of scary the first time you hear a voice in your head that wasn't yours, but I knew that this was God answering my prayer. So being me I asked "why?" Asked probably isn't the right word, I begged to know why and I got nothing, just silence and a calm feeling like if I followed through with this answer everything was going to work out. So we broke up, and a week later I realized all on my own that I didn't want to live without him. So I prayed again, asking "are you sure? Now I know I want to marry him, is the answer still no?" And what do you know, now the answer was yes. I see what He did there. He knew how to get me to come to know what I wanted all by myself. Like a teacher that knows all the answers and knows exactly which questions and problems you need to get you to figure out the answers yourself.

God did the exact same thing this time around. Before Robbie and I asked together, we asked separately, you know, doing our part to ponder and stuff. Well we both got separate answers. His answer was no, and mine was yes. I was heartbroken. How can we be getting different answers? And as I was thinking about it I realized I didn't really want any more kids, but that if God said to have more I would (but I really hoped His will was mine instead of the other way around). When we prayed together we got a really weird answer, a feeling of "you are done, for now." God did it again, helped me figure out what I wanted and then tested me to see if I would do His will.

We'll just have to wait and see.

After two days we were missing our kids. It was such a wonderful vacation, being together just the two of us, reconnecting and recommitting ourselves to each other...but we missed our little family. We aren't complete without them.

Six Months and an Almost Two Year Old

The twins turned 6 months old last month! They are the size of most 3 month olds, but that's okay.

I probably wouldn't notice if I wasn't going to so many doctors appointments, but they are developmentally behind by about a month because they were born three weeks early. I can't help but think part of it is me too. With Jacob I spent every minute he was awake cuddling him and doing baby exercises or involving him in what I was doing, with all three now and trying to get our house ready to sell and find a new home I do not spend every one of their waking minutes doing baby exercises.

Riley is definitely getting things faster than Chase, which is kind of hilarious to watch. Riley is our happy mellow child, she reminds me of a hippie. Her motto would be "everything is good". When she does cry it's the most pitiful little wail you've ever heard. Chase is our dramatic child. Everything makes him SCREAM, not just cry, but blood curtailing SCREAM.

They are both now rolling all over the place, and often times into each other which they don't like so much. I will put them side by side so they can play with each other, but they end up opposite of each other and crying because they are both getting kicked in the face. One time I came over to see what all the fuss was about and Riley was gnawing on Chase's foot and he was really upset about it.

Jacob is so amazing with them, he really has taken the big brother role to heart. Every time they cry he immediately goes over and asks something that sounds like "Are you okay?". I ran to check on why I was hearing gagging noises and he was shoving a spoon down Chase's throat, just trying to help feed him I guess. He takes rags and wash cloths and helps wipe up their spit up and formula drips and food (Indy helps in that department too). He helps me take out the trash by holding on to it and pulling me along. He also "helps" me carry the babies across parking lots by holding onto one of the car seat handles instead of my hand since both of my hands are occupied. He plays peek a boo with them, and does everything and anything to entertain them.

The first time Chase laughed at Jacob was in the orthopedic's office. A lot of firsts seem to happen there since we are there so often, like Jacob opened his first door there and Riley started putting her hand to her mouth like a little indian (just not making the noises). They laugh at the craziest things, like my hands going into the air, and basically anything Jacob does. They love being tickled. And they smile so big they take up their whole itty bitty baby face.

Chase's helmet is going okay...it's a little big so it's turning on his head which kind of defeats the purpose of fixing his flat spot, but we're going to give it a few more weeks before we ask for a new one. The foam pads we've put in it seem to be holding it in place well enough, the orthopedist hopes he'll grow into it soon so they don't have to make a new one.

Jacob has several new favorite words and phrases. He still favors "where did it go?" but now he's added "okay" and "are you okay?" He also loves "baby". He wakes up in the morning, "Baby? Baby?" He tries to climb up into their cribs to make sure they are there. He tries to help feed them, and take a couple bites of their baby food. The look on his face when I let him have a bite of their carrots was priceless. "This isn't applesauce", and he then went for another bite! "Mo? Mo?" instead of "more". He sits where they sit, lays where they lay, kisses them, hugs them, helps burp them, tries to play with them by giving them toys (and taking them away) and trying to get them to laugh and smile at him. Jacob is still so happy, always wanting to say "hi" to people and be their friend. He's starting to cry and whine a lot though...

The twins didn't like the spoon very much to begin with. I know Jacob was ready for food well before I was ready to feed him, but with the twins it was the other way around. But now they're getting the hang of it. And because they are eating real food now they are getting more on a schedule of breakfast lunch and dinner because they are hungry at those times instead of random times! Which is amazing because on most days I can get all three of the kid's naps synchronized! Win.

It takes us all day to get anywhere, and I have to literally pack everything. I have two diaper bags, and leave one in the car in case I run out of things in the one I bring with me. I take my giant monster of a stroller everywhere.

These children are getting cuter every minute. I love them.

One last story. I was eating lunch, and Jacob and Robbie were on the couch with me and the twins were behind us in their exersaucer things. All of a sudden I don't hear anything, and I don't know how long I haven't heard anything. I get up and come around the couch and Chase is sprawled on the side of his exersaucer and he looked dead. I froze, and said "Chase?" Robbie new that tone and ran to get him. Robbie picked him up and Chase started jumping in the exersaucer, but he was still asleep! Robbie just held him there, because now I'm crying my eyes out because I thought my child had died and laughing all at the same time because he's bouncing in his sleep. This kid is so out that he looked dead. I've never had a child fall asleep doing something like that, they almost always cry because they are tired and want to fall asleep but can't. Chase had just put his head down right where he was. Riley is laughing at us, and Jacob is patting my head asking "are you okay?" and he wiggles his way into my lap and gives me the biggest hug I've ever gotten from him and just holds me until I stopped crying. It was so scary, and so funny. I apparently freeze in life and death situations. I really need to work on that...

Anyways, enjoy the pictures!

I couldn't get them to all look at me and smile AT THE SAME TIME to save my life. If it were a life and death situation, I would have died. Thank goodness for lots of pictures, there's a good picture of each of them amongst all of them. And the funny ones. Dad was trying to help draw their eyes, but then they followed him everywhere.

 It was cuter the second before, before he realized I was behind him.

As soon as he saw me he got up and danced around. He tries to copy everything they do.

The first time he rolled over and fell asleep with the helmet on scarred me. This kid scares me a lot I guess.

My Favorite Child

I keep getting asked which one is my favorite? Which child do I love on the most? Which one do I think is the cutest? 

The truth is, they are all my favorite.

I look at Jacob and think that he is the most handsome creature I have ever seen in the entire universe, and then I look at Chase and think the exact same thing about him. 

I look at Riley and think that she is the most beautiful being to ever exist, and then I look at her handsome brothers. 

I love how their hair varies from light brown to dark, and I love all three. I can't choose a favorite.

I love how their skin varies from pale white to olive brown, and I love all three. I can't choose a favorite.

I love how their eyes go from so light it's almost green to milk chocolate, and I love all three. I can't choose a favorite.

And then of course they do have common features that are easy to love. I look at each pair of feet, each little hand, nose, mouth...every time I get a smile, or a tongue sticking out at me, or a coo, or a laugh, or a cry whether it be real or crocodile and I can't help but smile because they are all so beautiful. Which one wears it better? I can't decide, I can't choose a favorite.

I was thinking how can I love each child so equally when they are so different? How can you not have a favorite? 

It's like my heart grew three times its size in order to hold all the love. It must have, or it would have exploded. 

I love the chunk, and how they are starting to hang onto you like a little monkey. How cute they look in their little outfits. The bows and flowers I get to put in Riley's hair, and Jacob loves putting them on too to be just like sister. The smiles! The coos! The sleeping. The laughing! Be still my heart.

And how Jacob now refuses to look at me for a picture, and has decided to run away from us at all times no matter what the situation. How he says "whooooow, whooooow", and is becoming so interactive! I asked him to go get his shoes, and what do you know he came back a couple minutes later with his shoes. He is constantly asking "what's that?" and then thinks about the word I just told him...sometimes he even tries out the word. He is always kissing his brother and sister and trying to play with them. He loves Sesame Street, and music! Every time a tune comes on he drops what he's doing, squats and bounces and waves his arms around. He is trying so hard to jump, and it just turns into a kind of gallop. He runs so fast now I have a hard time catching him! How he loves loves loves his Nana, he runs to her and laughs every time he sees her. And of course he'll do things for her that he won't do for me, like eat a pb&j sandwich.

I could watch them sleep forever, and better yet hold them on my chest while they sleep, and forever would not be nearly long enough to enjoy and appreciate how beautiful and peaceful they are as they sleep.

I could kiss and cuddle them every minute of every day for the rest of eternity, and it would not be long enough to show them how much I love them.

I'm so grateful for this opportunity God has given me, and that I have Robbie to share it with.

 Ah...a perfect example of this running away phase he's going through

 He fell down, then posed