Five Year Anniversary: Monterey

Sunday, July 26, 2015

It feels like we haven't taken a vacation in forever, maybe because we've been having babies for the past three years...When you think about life with an eternal perspective 5 years is not very long, and we did a lot of things in 5 years.

Since we've gotten married we both earned our bachelor degrees, we bought a house, we bought one car and a van, we have a dog and a cat (the fish died of old age), and we had three babies. We have served in many different church callings, from nursery and Primary, to Relief Society and Elders Quorum, and Young Womens and seminary. Robbie has now had two jobs, and I never really had a full time gig besides being a mom, I just did the small stuff like clowning and piano lessons.

The last vacation I remember was when I was hugely pregnant with Jacob, and we went with our friends to Tahoe. That was over two years ago. Since then we've had Jacob at his grandparents house for the weekend, but we never went anywhere or did anything. And by the time he was old enough to spend the night at his grandparents we were pregnant with the twins. It's been a sleepless, loud, and dirty three years. Wonderful, yes, but Robbie and I needed a break. A nice, long, kid free break.

So we dropped the kids off Thursday afternoon and headed to Monterey. We didn't call home until we were on our way back Sunday afternoon.

We stayed at this beautiful place, and since we treated it like a second honeymoon we kind of went all out and got a room with a view. We slept in, and didn't have any kind of schedule other than our own. We ate when we were hungry, and the food was so good. We slept when we were tired. When we just wanted to sit and enjoy the view we did. We had breakfast in bed every morning and watched the seals playing in the kelp. We went to the aquarium, and split it into two days because that's what we felt like doing so we didn't feel like we had to cram and see everything in one day. I got a massage. We went to see the new Jurassic World movie. We walked Cannery Row over and over.

We prayed about moving to Clovis, and the answer most definitely was yes. When you think about how cool it is how the apostles and prophet all have to come to the same answer, and that's how you know it's from God...doing that with your husband is almost cooler than that.

We also prayed about having a fourth child. God works in mysterious ways. This is the second time that He's done this to me. The first time was when Robbie and I had been dating for six months and it was either time to end it or time to get married, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I prayed about it, and the answer I got was not the answer I wanted. When I asked "am I supposed to marry him" I very clearly heard the word "no". It's really kind of scary the first time you hear a voice in your head that wasn't yours, but I knew that this was God answering my prayer. So being me I asked "why?" Asked probably isn't the right word, I begged to know why and I got nothing, just silence and a calm feeling like if I followed through with this answer everything was going to work out. So we broke up, and a week later I realized all on my own that I didn't want to live without him. So I prayed again, asking "are you sure? Now I know I want to marry him, is the answer still no?" And what do you know, now the answer was yes. I see what He did there. He knew how to get me to come to know what I wanted all by myself. Like a teacher that knows all the answers and knows exactly which questions and problems you need to get you to figure out the answers yourself.

God did the exact same thing this time around. Before Robbie and I asked together, we asked separately, you know, doing our part to ponder and stuff. Well we both got separate answers. His answer was no, and mine was yes. I was heartbroken. How can we be getting different answers? And as I was thinking about it I realized I didn't really want any more kids, but that if God said to have more I would (but I really hoped His will was mine instead of the other way around). When we prayed together we got a really weird answer, a feeling of "you are done, for now." God did it again, helped me figure out what I wanted and then tested me to see if I would do His will.

We'll just have to wait and see.

After two days we were missing our kids. It was such a wonderful vacation, being together just the two of us, reconnecting and recommitting ourselves to each other...but we missed our little family. We aren't complete without them.