False Alarm

Breakfast date / Fulfilling cravings

I don't have cravings very often, and when I do I always weigh the cost versus the craziness of the craving. For example, I'd love to eat burgers and fries and drink nothing but diet coke for the rest of my pregnancy...but at around $5 a meal, whether I'm making it myself or getting it somewhere else, the cost of that craving totally trumps the crazy. And the nutritional cost, not the healthiest choice.

Donuts have been creeping into my brain it seems like every waking moment...and there doesn't seem to be too many of those these days...now that crazy does not trump that cost. 

Robbie has to work late tonight, so I convinced him to take me to breakfast. For unhealthy, empty calories, lots and lots of empty calories, but very delicious donuts. 

We both have fond memories  of going out for donuts before going to work on weekends, me with my dad and brother before heading up the hill and he with his grandpa. 

(when did donuts get so expensive?)

I love mornings. The whole day is ahead of you, a wonderful world of possibilities and things to do and get done. Things to learn, projects to finish and start...oh, I LOVE mornings.

I need to find more morning people, to watch the sunrise with, to go exercise with, to make breakfast with...

And summer! Gosh I love summer, and the heat. It's my favorite season. I'm a full on California girl.

Anyways...

36 weeks

So we already had our little false alarm. 

I thought my water broke in the morning, and after getting my car stuck in a parking lot (I have no idea how I got it started again) Robbie told me to go home instead of getting stuck doing errands...so I went home and slept. I woke up around 4, and had this funny feeling like I should call the doctor and tell them what happened in the morning. The doctor said go to the hospital to get checked out, just in case. If it was my water breaking, they don't want any infection to set in so they would have to deliver the baby within 24 hours. 

So we went...freaking out. Of course, it took 4 hours to be seen...just for them to stick a little stick up there to test for amniotic fluid. Well it wasn't my water breaking...

But apparently I was having some pretty strong contractions.

What? 

I felt nothing. And the monitor they had me hooked up to was showing pretty good ones...

So they stopped them so I wouldn't go into active labor. At 35 weeks, this baby boy could still use some more cooking time. And they kind of put me on bed rest.

So we get home, exhausted, me hating the hospital and doctors even more than before (that white coat syndrome is some serious crap). Turned off my phone for a couple of days so I could sleep...and sleep and sleep and sleep...

I got to thinking, why didn't I call the doctor in the morning? I think it's because I wasn't having contractions till later in the evening. If I had gone into the hospital in the morning, they would have tested negative for amniotic fluid and would have sent me home...and I might have gone into labor sometime during the night. 

Why did my car stop working all of a sudden? I think maybe to send my butt home and rest. I think that God is looking out for us, and if we listen and pay attention we'll see His hand in our lives. 

The good news is that I might have this baby next week! 37 weeks is full term, right? The other good news, I wasn't feeling the contractions...maybe I'll have an easy labor? Knock on wood right? 

But then again, if I don't feel the contractions, how will I know it's time to have this baby?

See my dilemma?

Anyways...I was surprised at how ready I was to give everything for this baby boy that I haven't even met yet. I'm so uncomfortable, and sleep practically all day, and can't do anything for more than 30 minutes without having to rest for almost twice the time I was up...When they said you might have this baby tonight I felt that selfishness rise to the front of my heart, you mean I could have my abdomen all to myself again? And almost instantly, I realized he wasn't ready yet. He wasn't full term, and it doesn't matter how uncomfortable I am, I'm responsible for this baby boy...all of a sudden I was determined to be uncomfortable for as long as he needs me to be.

My mom said something that really struck me as profound. When I think about becoming a mother, I think about teaching, I think about defending and protecting...I never thought it would be this physically uncomfortable. My mom said as a mother you're going to be uncomfortable for the rest of your life. You will be sleep deprived, you will be dirty and always have something to clean, you will worry...being uncomfortable is something no one tells you about.

I know this isn't the most eloquent of posts, but I hope my feelings somehow got across through this pregnancy haze my brain is in. 

Even though sometimes when he's turning around in there he hurts me so bad I can't keep the tears from pouring, especially at night after a full day of beatings...I wouldn't trade it for the world. I can't wait to meet him, and to experience the next stages of uncomfortableness. After all this sleeping, I can't wait to be up all night :)