4:00 am

I woke up at 4:00 am...wide awake. It was weird.

I had to pee, of course. What's new now a days?

Someone left a light on, I went and turned it off. I opened the windows up, because it's going to be 100 degrees this weekend and I love fresh air, so this morning might be the last morning that it's cooler outside than inside. 

I tried to go back to bed for about 45 minutes. My eyes said I was tired, but my brain wouldn't shut off. As my brain was running, my baby woke up and started rolling around making me all uncomfortable. Then my stomach turned on...I don't think I've ever been that hungry, that fast, that early. 

A shower before the sun was up felt incredible. 

Seeing Robbie's face look at me like I was crazy because I was dressed before he was even out of bed? Priceless.

Did you know the sun comes up like at 5:00? It's amazing! I love waking up with the sun! It's just a magical time of the day...but I kind of feel like every time of day is magical when I'm looking at the sun in the sky.

My dog was so shocked when I asked her if she was ready for a walk so early in the morning. Shocked and excited. We went a little more than a mile, almost a mile and a half. Go us! And baby! 

Breakfast. Delicious.

And I still have an hour and a half before I need to go to my doctors appointment. An hour and a half...to finish what? Crocheting? Cleaning? Probably cleaning...And spending time in my garden. There almost isn't any more dirt the watermelon has spread out so wide! 

Some thinkings...because what else do you do when you're all by yourself and can't sing at the top of your lungs when people are still sleeping. 

I don't remember when I lost sight of my toes because all I can see now is a round mound of belly. 

My feet aren't swelling too much, just every now and then. Thank goodness.

Wasn't I supposed to be as hot as an oven? I'm still freezing.

Kids walking to the bus with their noses in their phones...it's a beautiful day! Wake up! Get your nose out of your phones and look around you. 

I love to crochet. And play the piano. And learn about the body. And teach people about their body. 

Pregnancy clothes are expensive. But large shirts are anywhere from $3.50-$5.00 at the thrift store and all they need is a little altering. Not only did I get some sewing practice, but I got a whole wardrobe for the price of a few items of clothing at other stores. 

I have 10 more weeks. I'm starting to freak out just a little bit...I want this little boy out in my arms already and out of my diaphragm, but I'm nervous. I'm scared of labor, I'm scared about meeting him...I just realized that due date is like a ticking time bomb to being a mother. I'm going to be a mom, in 10 weeks. I'm very, very nervous. Will he smile at me? Will he cry a lot? Will people respect my space? How hard will it be to breast feed? 

Will everything be okay?

I think I'm ready for a nap, but it'll have to wait. I guess that's what happens when you wake up at 4:00 am.

Did I ever tell you the name we chose?

Jacob Ephraim Van Patten

Every now and then I'll call him Jake. 

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