Start Quote
Few women believe they are successful
because they don't FEEL successful.
In the deepest recesses of our hearts,
we feel like failures - counterfeits, frauds...
[If we have anything happen that we see as failure,
the entire day or experience is ruined by that one moment.
It's not that it is ruined, or that the failures are even failures,
we just think they're failures and we think it's ruined.]
Even [when] we know we are successful,
we rarely admit it.
The world does not like braggarts.
And we want the world
- every last person in it -
[Which is impossible, by the way.]
We suffer from [this] potent combination of
public and private conditioning over a lifetime.
Webster's Dictionary defines success as
"the attaining of a desired end,"
as well as
"the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence."
When we succeed, we "prosper, thrive, flourish."
When we don't, we want to sink to the center of the earth
until the shame subsides.
[Part of the brainwashing we've endured is to believe that]
success and failure are a black - and - white issue.
It's good or bad.
It's a lucky break or tough luck.
Actually it's none of these things.
Failure and success are the yin and yang of achievement,
the two forces in the Universe
over which we have absolutely no control.
We keep forgetting that all we can control
is our response to failure and success...
William James considered the pursuit of success
"our national disease"
and cautioned that the "exclusive worship of the bitch goddess"
could kill you if you weren't careful.
Few Victorians believed him.
A century later,
even though we can see the bodies dropping all around us,
we still don't believe him.
We must NEVER forget that what the world giveth,
the world can taketh away - and frequently does.
Most of us were NOT taught that there are two kinds of success:
worldly and authentic.
But in order to live happy and fulfilled lives,
we need to know the difference
between what's Real and what's not...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the pursuit
of worldly success and financial independence...
[in fact it's quite necessary in my opinion.]
But Simple Abundance has taught me,
as I know it will teach you,
that authentic success is living by your own lights...
And they can't take that away from us.
End Quote
Here is a great exercise.
It's going to be different for everyone.
Robbie did this exercise, and his answer was an entire page long.
And it took two months and many revisions.
And he's still revising.
You have to think about the successes and failures in your life
differently than you do now.
You have to realize that failure isn't bad, it's necessary.
Sometimes you're going to make mistakes,
and sometimes you're going to fail,
and sometimes because of forces outside your control.
And by sometimes, I mean all the time.
You can't let your failures get in the way of your success,
and it's all in you head.
You just have to learn to shake them off,
roll with the punches,
learn to ride the waves,
and view those "failures" as experiences to help you grow.
Today is not a good day for me to be writing on success.
I do not feel successful.
It took me all day to finally get the upstairs vacuumed,
and it was so dirty because it's been three weeks.
I am the Secretary for the Chasing Shelby Foundation,
and our first car show was awesome.
We raised around $3000, all of which is going to go
to helping families who have children with Spina Bifida.
And I've only sent out half of the thank you notes.
Very rude, but I've literally had no time to do it.
I was going to do it today,
and it just didn't get done.
And I was not happy with the kids.
There was a lot of fighting and whining and crying...
and I'm kind of already over potty training the twins.
They want to pee on the toilet fine,
but they don't want to poop in the toilet.
And they want to run around naked all the time.
And they're upset when I put diapers on them.
And there were no naps today.
For anyone.
And then I start writing, and I feel stumped.
If you were me, you might just be inclined
to chalk this day up to a failure.
But it wasn't.
This morning instead of getting up right away
Robbie and I cuddled while they kids played nicely.
I FINALLY got the carpet vacuumed.
We went and had lunch with Robbie and I got my tb test read and paper work turned in to be an aid in Jacob's classroom.
I helped the kids put on different costumes at least 10 times, and I lost count at how many times I helped put on diapers or underwear or cleaned up pee that didn't make it into the toilet.
I taught a piano lesson.
I made dinner, and it was delicious.
And there's enough to freeze an entire second meal.
And I did my blog.
And I tried not to let the negative thoughts get me down.
I tried to remember that it's all going to be okay,
even though at times I just wanted to cry.
Overall, I'd say today was a pretty successful day.
Wouldn't you?
It's all in the way you look at it,
and how you define success.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) Bed time. I'm exhausted.
2) Chocolate.
3) Diva Cups.
4) Robbie, and Mcdonalds, and eating lunch together.
5) Family.
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