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Life as a journey...

Life as the highest art...

Pioneers...Explorers...

Poets...Gardeners...

Artists of the Everyday.

Women of Spirit.

Women of substance.

Women with style.

Women who have lived the questions.

Women ready to embrace the answers...

Seekers of the Sacred in the ordinary...

Seekers of Love. Passion. Wholeness.

Authenticity.

Where are we headed?

We're headed Home.

Ithaka.

But before we arrive, there are vast worlds awaiting exploration.

Worlds within. Worlds without...

Chronologically we're at the end of the year 

but the beginning of the journey.

Not to worry.

We'll have all the time we need in kairos to find ourselves. 

Here's where we must part company.

At least for a little while. 

I've got some discoveries I need to make on my own.

And so do you.

But you won't be alone. 

Someone who loves you unconditionally is at the helm...

Go in peace. 

You're as ready as you ever will be; 

well equipped for the adventures awaiting...

You must ask...for help...

Give thanks.

Wait. Watch what happens.

Get excited...

Never forget that all you have is all you need...

Believe. Believe in yourself. 

Believe in the One who believes in You.

All things are possible to she who believes...

The Soul's awakening is gratitude.

The Soul's essence is simplicity.

The Soul's serenity is order.

The Soul's serenity is harmony.

The Soul's passion is beauty.

The Soul's purpose is joy.

Pray your journey be a long one.

Savor the stops along the way.

They make the search marvelous. Meaningful. Memorable. 

Find and honor your own pace...

Through the parting of the mists where doubt and faith meet,

you will see the authentic self is the Soul made visible.

Godspeed.

End Quote 

I want to say thank you. 

Thank you so much to all of you who have read my blog,

and especially thank you to those who have taken this journey with me.

Thank you Sarah. Thank you so much for sharing. 

I especially want to thank Robbie. He has been a brick throughout this whole year. It hasn't been easy to be patient and supportive, especially when I've basically spent 365 hours (I have a funny feeling it's more like double that) on a blog. But it was more than just a blog. I hope that you have been able to see as I have how this has affected my life for good. I hope it's affected your life for good as well.

I want to thank my Savior Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father.

In getting to know myself better, I've gotten to know them better too.

I am grateful for this lifetime that I have to try and become more like them.

It has been an honor and privilege to share my experience with you.

Thank you so much.

I hope that you have a Happy New Year, 

and many more to come.

I pray that you continue to find your authentic self.

May God be with you. 

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) I am grateful that this is the last gratitude journal I'll have to share! From now on I'm going to keep them to myself, thank you very much. 

2) Decorating. And reusing decorations. I might just keep these flags up forever.

3) Finding another Simple Abundance book. It's going to be raffled off tonight! 

4) My family and friends.

5) My life.

I have a party curse. Every time I throw a party, no one comes.

It is very sad.

But one friend came over! I love her to pieces. 

And she for sure read every single blog post, which is awesome.

And her son just woke up from his nap and is asking for my kiddos.

It's funny how Simple Abundance has changed my way of thinking.

I used to be very upset about my party curse, 

but now I am finding the joy and gratitude in what I have.

So instead of being surrounded by many friends, 

we're dancing with our kids and watching a movie

and eating snacks instead of eating a real dinner.

And maybe now we'll play some games with some other friends.

It is wonderful, to see the good in life, no matter what happens.

 

Let the celebrations commence!

Happy New Year!

 

December 30th - Ithaka

 "As you set out in search of Ithaka

Pray that your journey be long,

full of adventures, full of awakenings.

Do not fear the monsters of old...

You will not meet them in your travels

if your thoughts are exalted and remain high,

if authentic passions stir your mind, body and spirit.

You will not encounter fearful monsters

if you do not carry them within your soul,

if your soul does not set them up in front of you."

- Constantine Peter Cavafy

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Ithaka was the beloved island home of the legendary Greek hero, Odysseus...Odysseus roamed the world for ten years, having adventures, meeting challenges, and learning lessons that profoundly changed him.

Today an odyssey means a long, often exhausting, exhilarating and/or excruciating transformative journey. 

The search for authenticity is our personal odyssey.

As we move through our daily rounds on the Simple Abundance path...

what we are really seeking is the Ultimate Reality. 

We are seeking Ithaka...

I was inspirited to create a personal...adaptation of Cavafy's classic for women:

Pray that your journey be long,

full of many summer mornings

when with much pleasure and much joy

you anchor in harbors never seen before...

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Your arrival there is your destiny.

But do not hurry the journey at all;

be patient...

So that finally, when you reach this 

sacred isle, you will be a wise woman,

abundantly fulfilled by all you have gained along the way;

no longer expecting Ithaka to make you wealthy,

no longer needing Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka offered you the profound journey,

the chance to discover the woman you have always been.

Without Ithaka as your inspiration, you 

never would have set out in search of Wholeness...

End Quote

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Only one more day left in 2017! I'm so ready for 2018.

2) Chips and dip. And chex mix. And tuxedo brownies. And salsa. And artichoke jalapeño dip. Lots of dip. And like 10 bottles of sparkling cider. I hope you can make it to our get together tomorrow night, because I don't want to eat it all myself! Yum.

3) Naps. I love taking naps, and I love it when the kids take naps. And they needed two today, must be going through a growth spurt.

4) Taking  care of myself. Showers are pretty amazing.

5) Robbie officially finished part one of the laundry room. We added a rod to hold hangers and clothing while I iron, and added the last shelf below the hampers. Let me tell you, the whole house feels different. Probably because there isn't laundry everywhere. It is super hard trying now to use self control and not just do all the projects we want to do... Each project would probably cost somewhere between $100-500, or more! And definitely more than one full day (kid free to boot). Both of which we do not have in abundance.

 

December 29th - Success Unexpected

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment:

that if one advances confidently in the direction of [her] dreams,

and endeavors to live the life which [she] has imagined,

[she] will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

-Henry David Thoreau

This is my favorite quote because it's so true. 

In regular, common days, where nothing extraordinary happens,

that's when I hear the quiet voice of the spirit showing me

how truly wonderful and successful my life is.

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Today is the day the post-holiday blues 

usually drop in for their annual visit. 

After any strenuous exertion, 

especially one that's lasted several weeks, 

there's a natural letdown in energy and enthusiasm. 

"The life in us is like the water in a river," Thoreau tells us. 

It rises, even floods, but then it recedes until it finds its true level. 

The year is drawing to a close;

and whether we're aware of it or not, 

we're balancing our personal books, 

tallying up the profits and losses.

If we're in the red as far as achieving goals, 

surrendering expectations, reaching for aspirations, 

coming to terms with situations we can't change, 

or acknowledging that we could have made changes 

but chose not to, we're going to end up feeling blue. 

If we've blown our budget, 

it's likely our purses will be leaner for a couple of months. 

Not fun. 

To make matters worse, you're probably not feeling very well. 

Don't be surprised by nasty colds or lingering chest congestion.

Practitioners of Eastern medicine expect these ailments in the winter;

metaphysically the lung is the organ that processes grief.

If we've experienced a loss - and all of us have

in one way or another this year - we might still be grieving,

unable to accept and release it.

Old pain is very difficutl to give up;

by now it's a familiar friend, just not a very nurturing one.

When this happens, we need to remember to treat ourselves kindly.

This is the time to trust, not make judgments.

Soon the children will go back to school.

The company will leave. 

The work will get completed.

The bills will be paid.

The quiet moment will come.

You'll be able to catch your breath, 

and then you'll notice that it doesn't hurt anymore. 

Your creative energy and enthusiasm will return.

Once again you'll start to advance 

confidently in the direction of your dreams. 

"However mean your life is, meet it and live it;

do not shun it and call it hard names.

It is not bad...It looks poorest when you are richest.

The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. 

Love your life, poor as it is.

You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours,

even in a poorhouse," Henry reassures us.

End Quote

Today was a very common, lazy day, 

and I found unexpected success. 

 Robbie and I were able to lay in bed for awhile after the kids got up because they were playing so nicely. Then I made breakfast, for the first time in what seems like forever. It took an hour to get all three kids fed, clothed, and trying to teach them about how we don't communicate by yelling without yelling myself. Finally I was able to eat breakfast, and read one of my favorite conference talks. I enjoyed my favorite homemade bread that was a gift from my aunt and uncle, toasted with butter and honey, and drank hot chocolate with a peppermint stick. Then the kids and I went upstairs, they played and I sorted some laundry. By the time I was done it was obviously nap time, and Robbie was finished working, so he helped me get them a snack. Robbie stayed downstairs with Jacob and rested and watched a movie while the twins and I took a three hour nap. We watched another movie while we ate lunch, and then Robbie finished the laundry room while I played with the kids. I can't remember the last time I sat down and played with them. We played doctor, birthday, they brushed my hair (which was the most amazing feeling in the world), we built towers etc etc. Then we had pizza and watched some Mickey Mouse cartoons, because, you know, it's a lazy day so we had a lot of TV. And then we put the kids to bed, and Robbie and I finished what we could in the laundry room, and watched a show together, and now we're reading and working together. 

When you look at my day, you'll see very clearly how common it was.

But the feeling that this common day brought me is unforgettable.

Sure there were some tears and a little yelling, some fighting,

but all was forgiven and forgotten quickly, love abounded,

and there were plenty of kisses and hugs and smiles to go around.

Knowing that it was going to be a slow day because we're all so tired, accepting it and loving it, being a good mom and a good wife... 

Today was pretty spectacular...common though it was.

Edmund Vance Cooke, “The Eternal Everyday,” Impertinent Poems (1907), 21.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Almost done with part one of the laundry room! Part two, when we save up the money to do it and want to put in the effort. Part two will have me able to do everything I need completely in the laundry room, with no reason to leave it to work in the bathrooms or in our rooms! Part two: sink, paint, and floor. Easier said then done.

 Finished! Dryer sheets in the mail box, tons of lost socks, and an extension cord so I can iron in the laundry room!!!!!

 All of the bulk is up there! What what!! Moving all that up there meant that I could put things that I normally leave on the counter underneath it in the cupboards...which means I now have a counter to work on! No more using the counter as a shelf!!!

And the finishing touch, with a pair of jeans soaking in oxi-clean and water in an ice-cream container...The wall of laundry hampers. Clean laundry, dirty laundry, stuff that needs to be stain treated or ironed.......Ta Da!!!!! 

2) Now if I actually use the system we've created, laundry will never overtake my house again! I'm so excited, and so grateful that Robbie took three of his vacation days to do this for me/us.

3) Having my kids home. On Wednesday I didn't miss them at all, I was so grateful for the freedom! But by Thursday I was missing them pretty badly. I was so glad to have their little noises today.

4) Little kid talks. Jacob was telling me how much he loved me, and how he loved that I was little. What?!

5) We were not tackled to death by toddlers this morning when they came in and saw that the bed was on the ground and easily accessible. Sometimes they respect personal space.  

 

December 28th - Ripples

"Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? 

Go forward and not backward. 

Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! 

Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad."

-Joseph Smith

Start Quote

The first time you think you'd like to do something 

a little different from the way you've always done it...

you pick up a pebble.

The first time you actually DO it differently

- whether you're delighted or disappointed in the results -

you throw the pebble in the pond.

The pebble sends out tiny, barely visible ripples 

of movement toward the center.

No one else notices.

But the woman who threw the pebble...does 

IF she's paying attention.

It's the same way with courageous acts in your daily round.

They may be so small that only you realize something's going on.

But one day, all those small but indelible moments of 

private courage will burst through.

And both you and your world will have changed 

in an authentic moment. 

We become authentic the same way we become courageous.

By doing it.

Not by thinking about it...

The courage to embrace authenticity with joyous unrestraint is certainly something to celebrate by lighting a candle, raising a glass, and doing something completely unexpected that lifts our spirits.

End Quote

If you have not been invited to our Blog Party/New Years Eve Open House, I'm sorry you fell through the cracks! I've got a lot on my mind, and I wasn't sure who has been reading and would like to come. It's at my home Sunday night, and if you would like to celebrate with us you are more than welcome. Message me for details if you can come!

Because this definitely needs some celebrating.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Robbie. He amazes me. Did the finishing touches on the shelving, and then tested it. If it can hold him, it should be able to hold all my bulk stuff. Yep. My hubby did that. And I'm super excited he didn't fall to his death.

2) My parents. While we were sawing and drilling and cutting and doing all kinds of dangerous work and running errands and such to get this laundry room project done, they had the kids. Two whole days! Not many people can take my kids for 48 hours straight. I'm so grateful for them. 

3) Everyone is sick! Well, I don't think they're really sick. I think it's just a little cold, a little tired from working/playing too hard, and I think Jacob had dirt thrown in his eyes and that's why they're red and puffy.......buuuuuuut......we'll see. I'm just grateful that everyone is alive, safe, and in my arms, even if not in perfect health. 

4) Three more days of blogging! Three more days of 2017! Three more days of vacation! 

5) Surprises and staying up late and being productive. I went to pick up the kids and bring them home, which meant two hours of driving and an hour of packing, and when I got home I found our bed torn apart. When I left I told Robbie I would vacuum under the bed later, so I was surprised to find the bed where it wasn't supposed to be when I got home. He wanted to really vacuum under there. And then he had this great idea to just get rid of the frame altogether. It squeaked something awful, and the amount of dust underneath was disgusting! And our dog likes to go under there and so do the kids, yuck. So we're trying something new. Sure we look a little more like college students, but it's really quite comfortable. And no more squeaking and no more dust! 

Anyways, I would have gotten to bed much earlier, but I kind of needed a bed to do that...which meant we had to finish what he started. Good stuff. 

The kids are probably going to wake up at 6, so, with that in mind I'll stop rambling. Goodnight!

December 27th - Believe

Man, Sarah starts talking today and the first thing I think of is

Just Around The Riverbend.

"First we have to believe,

and THEN we believe."

-G. C. Lichtenberg

 

Sarah is on point today.

Listen up.

Start Quote

 As the season of Believing seems to wind down for the rest of the world,

please let me gently make something very clear.

Many dreams still wait in the wings.

Many aspirations are just within our grasp 

if we keep stretching.

Many hungers need nourishment.

Many yearnings must be acknowledged, 

so that they can be fulfilled.

 Many authentic sparks must be fanned before 

Passion performs her perfect work in you.

Throw another log on the fire.

This is not the day you quit.

This is not the day you cry.

This is the day you stare down every naysayer in your life 

who doesn't get it yet. 

Because you do. 

Finally.

And now you know that faith is the substance of things hoped for, 

the evidence of things not seen.

This is the day you shout, "I Believe!"

Keep on shouting it until you're hoarse.

No more muttering under your breath.

Do you know what happens every time a child says,

"I don't believe in fairies!"

A fairy falls down dead.

Do you know what happens every time a woman says,

"I don't believe. It's taking too long!"

The woman falls down dead.

Inside.

Where it counts.

But it just might take another forty years 

before they get around to burying you. 

And do you know what they'll say as your ashes are scattered?

"I don't think I can ever remember a time when she was truly happy."

And they'll be right.

This is NOT the time you stop believing.

You simply can't afford the luxury of skepticism.

And what must you believe with every breath, until you do believe?

How about the mystical alchemy of style and Spirit. 

In the past a woman's spirituality has been separated from her lifestyle. 

But now you know this doesn't make any sense.

Never did.

Never will. 

Now you know that the union of Authentic Style and Spirit 

creates a woman of Substance.

You.

So keep on believing that you have the passion, intelligence, brilliance, creativity, wisdom, clarity, depth, and savvy to find that quiet center of solace, serenity, and strength necessary to create and sustain an authentic life.

Every day is the prayer.

An authentic life is the most personal form of worship.

When you start believing, you'll discover that 

all things are really possible. 

Clap. 

Clap once again.

But let's really hear it this time!

 

Wow! That's better! 

Why, it's so loud, it'll wake up the dead.

Good for you. 

End Quote

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Gratitude Journal

***

1) Robbie and I got to sleep in. It was amazing.

2) Meeting our new neighbors, they are super nice.

3) Giving away some of my mom's super yummy Christmas cookies and candies. It makes me happy to spread the love.

4) Robbie is super handy, it's seriously impressive.

5) And this, I'm grateful for this. All the time I got to spend with him today, and how productive we were.

 It was super dark in the garage, and Robbie added more light so we can see!

 We actually fit a whole lot of stuff in his little car.

 I started setting up for our open house, and I decided I wanted to go ahead and take the time to unwrap every piece and put them up for a little while. Maybe I'll put them away...in February...

Before

 

After!

 

Tada!!!

Look at all that storage space!  

And we're not even done. But we can't sleep in tomorrow, too much to do, too little time, and power tools are breaking so Home Depot bright and early.

December 26th - Many Lives

I love this quote.

Sarah starts today by talking about The Natural. 

I remember reading the book in school, but it was a long time ago.

Basically this guy's life that he had planned goes to crap, 

and his friend says to him

"I believe we have two lives. 

The life we learn with and the life we live after that." 

I totally agree, and yet I think two is limiting.

Have I ever told you about my what my plans for life were?

I was never going to get married because I didn't think anyone would ever love me, so I was going to be a fabulously wealthy physical therapist who had cats and all the neighborhood children would love and adore and come over for cookies.

Well, that plan went to heck when I met Robbie and got married. 

Plan A, not going to happen.

Next I decided that I was going to go to CSUSF to get my DR because I wanted to make something of myself, and Robbie could get a business job in SF easy. Well as I was applying for grad schools, I just kept getting this awful feeling in my gut that I wasn't supposed to apply. Not just to certain schools, I wasn't supposed to apply at all. So I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do, and he told me. I was supposed to graduate and start making babies. It took me awhile to come around to this new plan, because Plan A hadn't worked, and now Plan B was out the window too. 

Plan C, barefoot and pregnant for literally 2 years, stay home and raise my kids until they're all in school, and then go back and get my doctorate for physical therapy part time. Hopefully by the time they're in high school I can graduate and start working part time. When the kids are all out of the house, on missions, married, going to college, whatever it is, maybe I'll work full time...

Or maybe there will be a new plan.

I learned very early on something that I think everyone needs to learn.

The best plans can be ruined by real life in a single second.

You have to learn to roll with the punches, love and live with what life throws at you because it is going to throw a lot of crap your way, and know that your plans are going to change over and over again. 

That is real life. 

We have many lives to live, and we get to choose which ones to live because we get to choose our attitude about them.  

Please don't despair over plans and lives you can't or haven't lived.

Love the ones you have lived, and the life you're living. 

***
Gratitude Journal

***

1) Time off from the kids! I love them but oh my goodness I need some uninterrupted sleep and no crying or whining for a day or two.

2)  Projects! Merry Christmas to me! First project up: the laundry room. So much space, so much underused potential, about to be fixed. At least the top half. The bottom half will have to come later. Not enough time, not enough money.

 The cupboards we took out. See the laundry in places it shouldn't be?

 Where the cupboards were, and where we're going to put baskets and a shelf. Eventually, this counter will be a sink with washboard and small counter, with better shelving underneath and a curtain to cover it up.

 

And on this side we're going to have the mother of all shelves, a drying rack on the wall, more shelves, and a better lighting fixture.

 And this is why we're maximizing the space in the laundry room, because this is ridiculous. Laundry has overtaken my house!

 And this is one of the reasons we wanted to do this project when the kids weren't home.

3) Taco night.

4) Little things that I try not to take for granted, like hot water and showers, a washer and dryer so I can do laundry at all hours and with little effort. And take a shower whenever the heck I want. And having a wonderful mother and father. And a very very smart, handy, and loving husband.

5) Christmas cards from my best friend.

 

December 25th - Christmas

"If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things;

if we consider ourselves so unimportant 

that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, 

when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey 

across the desert as did the Magi?

Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds?

Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary?

For each one of us, there is a desert to travel.

A star to discover.

And a being within ourselves to bring to life."

- Author Unknown

This is the very first quote that Sarah found for her book.

Start Quote

"Oh, would that Christmas lasted the whole year through, 

as it ought." Charles Dickens lamented. 

"Would that the spirit of Christmas could live within our hearts 

every day of the year."

But what is the Christmas spirit? 

Perhaps the Christmas spirit, like the nature of the Beloved, 

is meant to be a Holy Mystery. 

Perhaps the Christmas spirit is our souls' knowledge that things, 

no matter how beautiful, are only things; 

that we were created, not always to do, but sometimes simply to be.

Perhaps the Christmas spirit is a loving reminder that we must 

make time for the long, slow journey across the desert; 

we must take time to discover our star; 

we must honor the time necessary to brood over the coming of 

the authentic women we were created by Love to become. 

It has been said many times that our lives are gifts from God

- that what we do with them is our gift in return.

Today is the perfect day to remember this.

So this is my Christmas wish for both of us:

that behind the toys, tinsel, carols, cards, and convivial chaos,

there will come a moment of quiet reflection and peace.

That is may be truly said of each of us that we know how to keep Christmas well...

Merry Christmas! and God bless us, God bless us every one!

End Quote

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) We were up early enough to see the amazing sunrise.

2) I got some really wonderful gifts for Christmas. I'm feeling very blessed, and very  loved.

 My dad got me my favorite nativity, the one my mom has. It is the only nativity I've ever loved.

Shelby drew a bird for me a long time ago, and I wanted it painted so that I could actually put it up. My cousin is the most talented artist I know, and I asked her if she would do me a favor and paint it for me. She gave it to me for Christmas. And it is so beautiful.

3) Good food.

4) Good family.

5) Sitting curled up in a blanket on the couch, next to the fire, reading The Chronicles of Narnia.