"Tell me...of a woman who 

'would not exchange her solitude for anything.

Never again be forced to move to the rhythm of others.'"

-Tillie Olsen 

Start Quote

It's impossible to experience solitude regularly 
for any extended length of time 
without personal passions and authentic longings 
surging to the surface of your awareness...

Solitude cracks open the door 
that separates two worlds:

the life we lead today 
and the life we yearn for so deeply...

Begin slowly but resolutely. 

Take comfort in knowing that even 
stolen moments of solitude

-quarter-hour increments-

eventually can add up to a lifetime of serenity.

Be patient.

Don't expect too much too soon, 

especially when rearranging your schedule 
means dealing with your family's expectations 
of what you're supposed to do 
and when you're supposed to do it. 

Be patient.

End Quote











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Gratitude Journal
***

1) Any chance to dress up I take it. Sole 2 Soul in Riverpark has a 5k summer series, and it is awesome. Tonight was Disney and Asics night. I got to wear a new pair of shoes for the race! Super cool. I've always loved Asics. And of course, my mom and my cousin are awesome. My mom matched me! And my cousin wore the only other Disney costume I had. We had a blast, we had fun and we were fit. And we looked fabulous. Running in those costumes, not too bad. It was worst for my mom though, poor thing had the head piece.

2) Butter. I'm grateful for butter, and soap and water and washcloths to get it off of, well, everything.

 

3) Foam curlers. I put them in my hair at 10 this morning, and by 5 my hair was so curly! My hair looked better as it deflated a little, but ya' know.

4) This was one of the most fun nights off that I've had in a while. I'm grateful for Robbie, that he takes the kids and gives me this time.

5) Jamba Juice. 

6) Little kids looking at us in awe. So cute.

July 24th - Too High A Price

So there's an actual medical term 

for those who don't get enough time to themselves 

to "rest and recoup". 

And there are some serious symptoms!

Did you know any of this?

"Certain high-achieving women are imploded with demands,

both external and internal,

and lack the skills to filter them.

These women complain that the first thing they sacrifice 

is their private time or private pleasures."

-Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. 

Start Quote

Those of us who don't spend regular time alone...

are likely to suffer from what psychologists call 

"privacy deprivation syndrome."

Symptoms include increasing resentment, mood swings, 

chronic fatigue, and depression.

Sound familiar?

Sound grim?

It is!

Sufferers struggle through their days in a vacuum of 

unfulfilled exasperation, only to drop into bed 

too emotionally depleted to sleep well at night. 

The littlest thing can set them off, bringing tears and tantrums

-and not only from the children in the family. 

Soon work and personal relationships begin to suffer. 

Why?

Because the never-refreshed are 

really not that much fun to be around. 

The cycle may continue unabated until physical illness sets in...

[and these illnesses usually last forever,

 like the cold or the pain that just doesn't want to go away.]

Privacy deprivation syndrome is exacting [too high of a] price. 

Let me reassure you there is a better path.

End Quote

WHY!!!???!!!

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we work and work and work until we are so unhappy 

that we don't even recognize who we are anymore?

Why do we do this to ourselves?

WHY!!??!!

Stop it. 

Right now.

2 Nephi 2:25 

We were not put on this earth to be miserable. 

So if you are miserable, 

fix it.

Change your attitude.

Change your perspective.

Go take a vacation.

Then schedule some alone time.

*I'm not saying you're going to be happy the rest of your life.

You're going to have sad days, bad days, hard times, etc etc.

I'm saying you don't have to constantly be miserable,

misery should not be a life style.* 

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Want to see my thrift store treasures? They're still making me happy, days later. And this is not including the puzzles I found for the kids, or the huge book atlas, or the lady bug knee pads for Riley, or the tray I found for my mom, or some more things for our halloween costumes. This is just my stuff.

The dresses were $7 a piece, the shirt shoes and necklace were each $3, the stamps were 3 for $1, and the frames were like 25 or 50 cents a piece? A little sewing and the two dresses will have sleeves. 

I'M SO EXCITED! 

2) Lazy Mondays. Sure, I still have to go grocery shopping because we're out of staples, but we've had a wonderful lazy morning trying to recoup from our fun filled weekend. 

3) 205 days down, 160 to go. I'm really glad I decided to do this, but boy will I be glad when it's done. 

4) Therapy. 

5) Time.

July 23rd - Steal a Moment

Third day in a row...

solitude and living well.

And now how to steal a moment for yourself.

Think she's made her point yet?

If you think that there is no way you can make it work, 

then you're not trying hard enough.

Robbie takes the kids one night a week

so I can go do whatever I want in my room, 

or even leave the house. 

Sometimes I just go and have dinner with myself and a good book.

Usually sushi. A Booty Booty roll with miso soup from Wassabi. 

Yum.

You have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

You can fit in at least one hour of solitude,

if you think it's important. 

I know it's important.

For those of us with young 'ins, she has some great advice.

Start Quote

Plan your solitary pleasures when they take their naps. 

This is not the time for housecleaning.

Use it for your own renewal.

And don't be discouraged if your children 

have outgrown the need for naps

(although I don't believe any of us ever do).

Change your strategy.

Call the hour immediately following lunch 

'Quiet Time'. 

Take your children to their rooms gently but firmly, 

offering them a few special toys 

that they only get to play with at this time. 

Tell them you will see them in an hour 

and then retreat to your own special place. 

If you spend half your life carpooling, 

devise personal strategies to help you cope.

After the morning run, find yourself a quiet cafe 

where you can enjoy a solitary cup of cappuccino.

In the afternoon, plan on arriving at school at least a half hour early, 

with an inviting book to keep you company.

 Always keep a pad and pen handy to jot down 

random glimmers of inspiration, which will come

 once you commit to carving out soulcaring times, 

even if you have to find them sitting in a parked car.

Some of my best work has come while waiting for small people.

Be open to the unexpected.

End Quote

I know how it feels, trying to not do the things that need to get done 

when you have an hour during nap time and your world goes quiet.

But I also know how it feels to keep trying to stay on top of things, 

sacrificing that nap time hour to the chores that will never end...

You go crazy.

Spend an hour on yourself. 

The chores will still be there. 

It does feel like stealing.

Trust me, this is the only stealing that's okay.

When my kids are going crazy, 

the best thing for them is solitude. 

A little quiet time in their rooms away from everyone else 

does wonders.

Quiet time, 

it's good for them,

it's good for you.

Win win.

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Seeing my family. My cousins are all growing up so fast, it's ridiculous. One just got home from his mission, and another is leaving. Man do I feel old.

2) Nana and Grandpa's house. My kids really wanted to go back there instead of going home. They threw several fits about it. But I guess that's a good thing, I would rather they wanted to stay at Nana's house forever instead of the alternative which is never wanting to go back.

3) My poor car. It was running great! Got the fuel leak fixed, got the timing belt replaced...and then the check engine light came on again. I'm so grateful for my car, but gosh darn it. Can it just be okay for more than a day? Please?

4) Lipsense. I did lots of tests today, Papa was completely surprised. I kissed his hand, then his white shirt, then his cheek. Nothing. And then I kissed my dad and his white shirt, nothing. It's almost midnight, and my lips still look fabulous. Gosh I love this stuff. I especially love that I can finally have some great color to my lips, and not have it come off on my teeth.

5) Home.