July 3rd - Desire

Monday, July 3, 2017

"When Eve bit into the apple, 
she gave us the world as we know the world,
beautiful, flawed, dangerous, full of being...

When I write of hunger, 
I am really writing about love 
and the hunger for it,
and the warmth and the love of it...

And then the warmth and richness 
and fine reality of hunger satisfied...
and it is all one."

I have always loved Eve. 

I have never fully understood her decision, 
what was it exactly that made her take that bite? 

For example, Dr. Nehama Aschkenasy explained that the Hebrew word that has come to be translated as “beguiled” is a rare verb form of unusual depth and richness. Because it is a form no longer in use, it is almost impossible to translate. “It is safe to say that it indicates an intense multilevel experience which evokes great emotional, psychological, and/or spiritual trauma.” The use of this word in the biblical narrative “makes it clear that Eve was motivated by a complex set of inner drives, anchored not only in her physical but also in her intellectual nature.” She further indicated her belief that this intense, multilevel experience caused Eve to step back, reevaluate, reassess, and ponder the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

After partaking of the fruit, Eve recognized the correctness of her actions and the necessity of them. Some time later she expressed her feelings as a joyous sermon filled with praise and thanksgiving: “Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient” (Moses 5:11). 

I don't think I'll ever fully understand, 
but boy am I grateful that she took that bite.

I will take all the pain, and the hunger, 
so I can have the happiness too. 

Start Quote
Without Eve, I wouldn't be wondering 
what to cook for dinner tonight. 

Nor would you.

Without Eve, I wouldn't be cooking up creative projects
that often have me stewing in my own juices 
until they are completed. 

But I also wouldn't know the earthly pleasures that I love, 
as well as the intense desire for mystical morsels 
that only Spirit can provide: 
inner peace, joy, harmony...

Many of us constantly hold ourselves in check
-about food, relationships, careers-
stuffing our desires down deep into the self,
as if sheer determination can keep the lid on longing...

Our souls know many different kinds of hunger: 
physical, psychic, emotional, creative, and spiritual.

But the Great Creator gave us the gifts of
reason, imagination, curiosity, discernment;
we possess the ability to distinguish between our hungers.

Are you really hungry this morning for a breakfast biscuit 
or a break?

Is it passionate kisses you desire
or pasta?

Or a good night's sleep?

Then don't sit up watching reruns with that third glass of wine.
Turn the television off and tuck yourself in and if you're not alone, 
invite someone to join you...

Don't despise desire...

Within your desire is the spark of the Divine. 

Spirit desired to be loved...

Love. Hunger. Appetite. Desire. Holiness. Wholeness.
It is all One.
End Quote 

Thank you Eve. 
And Adam. 

It's hard sometimes to bless our circumstances
to appreciate our desires,
 especially when they're gnawing at us.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Gratitude Journal

1) I got to see one of my best friends one last time before she leaves for another two years, this time to Africa! Going to the zoo is so much more fun when you go with someone who loves and knows about almost every animal there.

2) I actually got stuff done this morning. Sure, I was an hour late to the zoo, but I got the house vacuumed and the laundry done. 

3) Time. I'm so grateful for time. I fear I may have lost something of the twins, and to replace them will cost about $25. I just pictured taking $25 and burning it...It took me most of the night to get over it. I kept telling myself life is too short to be mad about something you can't control, I don't lose things very often, it could have been worse, etc etc...Sure, I know these things, but I was still pissed as all heck. Time really does heal. I'm grateful that I took the time to get over it. Now if any of you ever get the bright idea that someone needs to do something or feel something or get over something or start something whatever it is, you best back off. If there's one thing I've learned it's that it'll happen in its own good time and that any pushing you do will just make it take longer.

4) My mom's spaghetti.

5) Sitting on the back porch, watching the kids play with a bat and ball and trying to do somersaults. They really aren't babies for very long, I need to remind myself of that every day so I can stop worrying about stupid things and worry about what's important, because babies don't keep.