We all have days when we complain...
they just roll off our tongue like gravy.
And then there are some women
who that's all they know...how to complain...
about everything.
Sometimes we need to complain, to just vent,
and that's okay.
But for the most part, the rule is
if you can't say anything nice,
don't say anything at all.
"If you have not slept, or if you have slept,
or if you have a headache,
or sciatica, or leprosy, or thunder-stroke,
I beseech you, by all angels,
to hold your peace,
and not pollute the morning."
Start Quote
Complaints we know.
Complaints we're good at.
Most of us have already mastered
the art of the complaint in all its many variations:
gripe, groan, moan, kvetch, bitch, whine...
One of the reasons we love our close friends so dearly
is that they allow us to complain
knowing that we'll return the favor.
But if we really love them,
don't you think it's about time we started sparing them?
Some of us spend half our lives griping.
It's time to get a grip.
When we bitch and moan we're not much fun to listen to;
just because you can't see the eyes at the other end of the receiver
doesn't mean they're not rolling or shut.
Try new outlets to channel hostility:
moan on your daily dialogue pages,
shout in the shower,
blow off steam as you walk,
or scream in your car as you wait in traffic.
Spirit's big enough to take it.
Besides, it's all been heard before.
There's nothing new under the sun.
I'm not suggesting that we suppress our negative feelings.
But the petty stuff we're often foaming at the mouth about
isn't worth the breath it steals.
Our words are powerful, so powerful that they can change our reality
- the quality of our days and nights.
Moaning rarely makes either us or those around us feel better.
In fact, it often makes everyone feel worse.
Learning to shrug is the beginning of wisdom.
Alternatively, learn to be creative about your complaining...
[Do you remember Barbara Sher and her book Wishcraft?]
Sher suggests that the next time you feel as though you'll explode,
announce beforehand that you need a hard time session.
Tell anyone in close range that you're mad, nervous,
fed up, and not going to take it anymore.
Tell them for the next five minutes you're going to lose it.
Tell them not to pay any attention and not to take it personally.
Then run amok. You'll probably end up feeling much better
without having to offer apologies or wipe away tears.
You may even end up laughing.
Today, if you must complain, at least be creative about it.
End Quote
I totally do this, like all the time with my best friends.
Vent for 5 minutes, and then laugh.
Trust me, you'll feel much better,
and you won't be known as
the woman who always complains.
Think before you speak.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) A good friend. I didn't want to spend the afternoon alone with the kids, and I didn't want to go out on our play date. So she came over and the spent the afternoon with us. It's so nice to have a good friend who will do things like help me with my dirty laundry while our kids play together.
2) Nana. She came and watched my kids while I went and volunteered in Jacob's classroom. Nana's are awesome.
3) Random lunches with mom and nana.
4) Happy meals.
5) Preschool. Jacob loves it, and I loved volunteering. It was so much fun to play with 25 or so kids for one hour, and then go back home to my three. Those teachers are a special kind of people to be a good teacher to 25 4 year olds.
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