October 3rd - Perfectionism

Tuesday, October 3, 2017






I thought the road to hell was paved with good intentions...

Start Quote
The road to hell is paved by perfectionists 
working with grains of sand.
Uh-oh...missed a spot...


Like workaholism, aspiring to be Little Miss Perfect
is an addiction of low self-worth.

When we were young, nothing we did was ever good enough,
so we just kept on doing until doing was all we could do.

When doing more and more didn't make a difference, 
we thought if we did our work perfectly,
we'd hit the mark.

When we did, suddenly voices other than our own sang our praises.
It sounded like the Heavenly hosts.
Champagne or chocolate couldn't begin to compare 
with the ecstasy of genuine compliments. 


We're creatures who live by our senses, 
and since the response we got for perfection felt wonderful
- even if for only ten seconds -
we wanted to repeat the experience.

So we committed to doing everything perfectly,
setting in motion a cycle of self-destruction that 
frequently felt as comfortable as a straitjacket.


Still, the pursuit of perfection is the opiate of choice 
for millions of women.

I could tell you to stop reading the magazines, 
watching the videos, and going to the movies 
that continuously reinforce our belief that perfection is possible, 
but you're not going to listen to me.

Instead, next time you see a gorgeous woman 
on the cover of a magazine, a room to die for, 
or a meal that would take a professional chef 
a week to prepare, begin to chant,
"You're not real. You're not real. You're not real.
I refuse to grant you the power to make me miserable."...

The woman, 
 
the room, 
 
and the meal 
 
that are depicted to inspire
(but that really diminish us)
are illusions conjured up by professionals 
paid handsomely to manipulate reality.





Once a close friend gave me a priceless gift. 
She convinced me that my sanity
 is much more important 
than the subtle nuances that I adore.

The subtle nuances are the essence of perfection.
The subtle nuances trigger the "Ah" response. 

But life spent seeking the subtle nuances 
leaves little time to enjoy the big picture. 

Now, as a recovering perfectionist,
I try to leave the subtle nuances to Spirit, 
who shows off better than I do...


A point worth pondering:
Upon completing the Universe, 
the Great Creator pronounced it "very good." 
Not "perfect."
End Quote



If you missed conference, 
listen to Elder Holland's talk on perfection

I have come to know that we 
CANNOT BE PERFECT.
It is impossible in this lifetime, 
and it is impossible alone.

Why set yourself up to an impossible standard?

I am a recovering perfectionist.
What I chant to myself every time an evil thought comes to mind
about how something I did isn't good enough,
I chant "I did the best I could with what I had.
I like it, I'm glad I did it."

One thing that I've learned over the years in playing the piano
is that you will never play a piece perfectly.
There are probably some out there who are so good
that they never make a mistake, but it is not the case for me.
So I tell myself and I tell my students,
you just do your best. If you put in the work,
and you ask God for his help, 
then your best will be good enough.

If you have problems giving up being a perfectionist
or have problems accepting that you are enough,
you should pray for help. 
I know that God is more than willing
to help you with this trial.






***
Gratitude Journal
***

1) Tuesday was much better than Monday.

2) Cousins and playdates.

3) I was like I'm just going to throw dinner together, and it actually tasted good. I felt like a real chef. It helps that soup is easy to make and hard to mess up, and then you freeze half and you still have leftovers for the week. Win, win, win.

4) Piano lessons. I love teaching my students. There was this one page that she said she was never going to be able to get, and I kept telling her to start practicing on the micro level...start with one measure, and if that's too difficult start with the first beat and then the second etc. She got it! Today she played it for me "perfectly", and I told her I want you to remember this page for the rest of your life, because the next time you think you can't do something you just remember that with time and effort you can. It's super awesome.

5) Nap time. 

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