October 10th - Poise

"No quality is more attractive than poise

- that deep sense of being at ease with yourself and the world."

- Good Housekeeping, September 1947

Today Sarah shares with us a truly horrible story

about a truly awful day that she had.

I want to share it with you in full, 

because I think we all need a laugh.

Not because we're laughing at her and her experience,

which I wouldn't wish on anyone,

but laughing with her in hindsight

because I believe every single one of us 

has had one (or more) of these days.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

Start Quote

One of the most miserable days in my life 

graciously bestowed on me a priceless gift:

the awareness that everyday poise is acquired or lost

before we leave our homes.

Early in my writing career I was summoned to New York 

for an important meeting with a woman who, 

it was whispered, made Medea seem beatific.

I decided I should prepare for this encounter 

by appearing just as formidable.

Since deep within I was paralyzed with fear,

I attempted to overcompensate for it with outward trappings.

In a frenzy, I bought an expensive outfit 

that screamed "woman of substance," 

although it most assuredly didn't look like me.

I also dramatically changed my hairstyle and makeup.

Because I felt so strange with my sophisticated new getup,

I stayed up far too late the night before my trip 

fussing with everything instead of relaxing, packing leisurely,

and getting some much needed sleep.

I was exhausted when I finally dropped into bed, 

so I just left my makeup, personal care necessities,

and accessories strewn on top of the dresser.

In order to arrive in New York in time for the meeting, 

I had to get up at 4:30 am.  

It had never occurred to me that I would be

virtually dressing in the dark,

so as not to wake up Ed and Katie. 

It was difficult and frustrating 

feeling my way to find what I needed. 

I ended up rushing out in a state of utter panic to catch my train. 

The meeting had not even begun 

before I became hot and sweaty.

This was right after I felt 

the left sleeve of my blouse 

rip beneath my suit jacket. 

Since I'd never worn this outfit before,

I didn't realize how tight the arms were 

or how much the skirt rode up on my hips 

when I sat down.

The deep red nail polish that had looked so elegant 

in the salon the day before had chipped en route; 

naturally, I had no way of touching up my nails,

so I tried to hide my hands.

Several cups of coffee on the train, 

combined with raw nerves, 

had made my mouth dry, 

but I hadn't thought to carry breath freshener in my purse

or ask for a glass of water before the meeting started.

I was so self-conscious during the meeting 

that I had difficulty focusing and 

certainly didn't have the confidence to offer my opinion, 

even though I felt very strongly about some of the decisions 

being made on my publishing project. 

Two excruciating hours later, the conference-from-hell was over.

As the elevator doors closed, I swore I would never again 

leave another business meeting hot and sweaty...

Into each of our lives come important meetings,

public appearances, and special occasions.

Here are some practical antidotes for public awkwardness:

Never dress to impress others:

dress to express your authentic sense of style. 

The only way we become truly at ease with ourselves

is by knowing who we are.

Never wear an outfit that you've 

never worn before to an important event; 

if your clothes need constant adjustment 

- pulling down a too-short skirt, hitching up a shoulder strap -

you'll be unable to relax, focus, and function.

If you buy something new, give it a trail run. 

NEVER drastically change your hair and makeup

just before meeting new people for the first time. 

If you want a new look, put it together thoughtfully and gradually,

so that you'll be at ease with the final effect.

If your dressing table is cluttered and your closet jumbled, 

you're bound to feel less than confident and serene when you're 

trying to put together a look that presents you at your best. 

To achieve order within,

begin with outward order. 

If your hair needs washing, your breath isn't fesh,

or your makeup is stale, if your nails are rough or chipped

or your antiperspirant is fading, you'll self-consciously 

avoid close encounters, giving others the wrong impression.

Poise and personal grooming are soul mates.

Women known for their sense of style and poise 

are impeccably groomed. 

Poise is often overlooked when we think of 

putting together our authentic look. 

And why is developing poise so important?

 Because when we're not obsessively focusing on ourselves 

or our shortcomings, our smiles become warmer, our laughter 

more spontaneous, and our thoughtfulness blossoms. 

Outer poise mirrors inner poise.

Moments spent in quiet contemplation to nurture our inner poise 

should be an essential part of every woman's daily beauty ritual. 

Self-possession costs us only time and self-nurturance. 

When we feel at ease with ourselves,

we feel at ease in the world.

End Quote

***

Gratitude Journal

***

1) Halloween decorations. Yeah, I had them up the last week of September.

2) The exercise group that I go to...I would never put myself through the type of torture this woman comes up with, so I'm grateful that she does it and then shares it with us so I can force myself to work out harder.

3) Good friends.

4) My piano students being so happy with their gifts that I gave them after 25 successful weeks of practicing the piano. 

5) My kids. Tonight I was just combing Riley's hair while she read a book...an insignificant moment to some, but a sacred and unforgettable moment to me.