"I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."
Right?
Oh my goodness.
It's taken me YEARS to learn that if it isn't comfortable,
even if it's just a little bit uncomfortable,
I'm not going to wear it.
I love the clothes from Narnia.
C. S. Lewis mentioned the clothes in one of the books, or perhaps more than one. He described the clothes something along the lines of being the most beautiful and the most comfortable all at the same time.
For some reason, I will always remember that.
And if I could find my darn copy of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe,
I would have searched for the quote
(my google search came up empty).
"I am convinced that we are our own best selves in comfort clothes...
[why should we be] squeezed into uncomfortable things that
pull, pinch, tug, choke, itch, hike up or down,
and make the days of our lives miserable.
We wear these creations of torture, we tell ourselves,
in order to be agreeable to the rest of the world.
But why shouldn't we find a way of making the world agreeable to us instead?"
Sarah suggests taking a few things into consideration when searching for comfort.
Check the fabric to make sure it feels good,
the size should be your true size or a bit larger
("be honest, not vain"),
what styles suit you best,
and maintenance (dry clean only is a pain).
"Now see if you can't find clothing
that matches your personal preferences
and be willing to wait until you do.
Consider budgeting and saving for quality comfort clothing
you can wear all day long and love for years.
The Simple Abundance path encourages us to be patient until we find what's perfect for us, rather than continue to waste our money, energy, and emotion settling for second-best or the second-rate."
All I can say is I agree. I add my testimony that I am my best self when I'm wearing something comfortable. If I'm not I can tell you from experience that all I'm thinking about is escaping the situation that I'm in to go change.
I hated living life that way.
I hated having the only comfortable clothes I owned being my pajamas.
But not anymore. I still have some work to do, as I obtain a few more first rate clothes I can get rid of a few more of those second rate clothes. But I do still need clothes, so I can't just get rid of everything.
***
But I did start clearing today.
And it was amazing, and it wasn't, all at the same time.
My kids had a great time helping, at first.
We chose some happy music, they helped me throw everything on the bed, and then they all stripped as I was trying on clothes...
And then the crying began.
He fell off the bed.
You know that song about monkeys jumping on the bed, right?
I did not call the doctor.
But I did take a picture before I started comforting him.
Here it is ladies.
Empty.
(at least my share)
Sarah said 2 hours...
I hate to say it, but the asldkfj lied.
It took me 3 and I had to call it quits.
This is how far I got.
Here's what I had left to go through
And here's my donate pile.
(the pile on the chair got bigger after I finished)
I forgot the bags to put my donate stuff in.
Happy music just made more noise, and I realized Pandora was playing a lot of commercials, and that every happy station I tried ended up either playing a whole bunch of sad songs or a whole bunch of commercials.
The kids stopped being helpful, and didn't want to play in their rooms, you know, where their toys are? Lots of whining and crying. That's probably why it took 3 hours tops, I was trying to be a mom at the same time as do something for myself.
New step:
DO THIS WHEN THE KIDS AREN'T IN THE HOUSE
AND YOU HAVE 4 HOURS TO YOURSELF.
And music.
I no longer trust Pandora.
I will have to try Spotify.
Anyways.
I did clear off the bed. Winter clothes will be put in a box, and the donate clothes will be put in a bag, and accessories will be finished tomorrow.
It really feels good, to know that everything in my closet and dresser is something I love and is comfortable. Looking at a piece of clothing and thinking, "do I love this? Does this spark joy?" made tossing and keeping really easy.
Robbie said "that's it? That's all you wear?"
Yeah. It is.
And it feels good.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) My mom.
2) Fabric shopping for Easter dresses and vests.
3) Cafe Rio, and splitting a salad with my mom.
4) Holding a newborn baby.
5) Revelations. I don't know if I shared this before, but I'm going to share it now because it's been a problem I've been having. If any of you other moms have this problem, I hope this helps you as much as it's helping me.
So my mom and I were able to talk tonight, and cry a little...we talked about how I lost a sister, but my mom lost a daughter, and how I hold Riley a little tighter when I think about the idea of losing her. Shelby's passing has been hard, and it sucks, but at the same time it's been a huge wake up call and I'm grateful for that. You go through life sometimes not paying attention to the things that are important, and then one day something or someone is gone. It is so important not to worry about the little things, not to be angry, to love, because even though it may feel like it, you might not have tomorrow.
I have had the bad habit of saying what I'm thinking without thinking of the consequences of my words. My mom told me that one day up in the mountains Chase was being his usual difficult self and she told me I pushed him away and said "I don't want you". She told me, that you don't ever want your child to ask you "why don't you want me?"
I have also said "I can't handle you right now" and "I'm done with you". It hurts my heart to even think the words. But when you've had an entire day of whining and you've done everything you can think of to love them and take care of them and they are still whining, you just snap. It's no excuse, but there it is.
I had the thought awhile back, and when my mom brought this up it reminded me again about it.
Would Christ ever say something like that to me?
Isn't he Christ because he can handle anything? He knows exactly what we're going through, no matter who we are or what it is he knows what it feels like and how to help.
Can you imagine him saying to you, "I can't help you, I'm done."
...
I can't either.
Aren't we supposed to be like him?
I never want my kids to question my love for them. So I need to fix this. I can't say things like this, if I'm going to snap I need to just put myself in time out, and pray for some more patience and help.
Anyways, I'm grateful for revelation and inspiration.
And my mom. And being a mom. It's so hard, but it is so wonderful.
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