"Until you make peace with who you are,
you'll never be content with what you have."
"Simplicity gains importance in our lives
as we begin to make peace with ourselves."
Sarah said it nicely. You finally understand that you don't need to
"gild the lily".
Taking the plunge is about
"learning to become comfortable with who we really are."
"We are not born all at once, but by bits."
"One is not born a woman, one becomes one."
This takes time. Time to "consider, time to reflect, time to make creative choices, time to emerge from the cocoon..."
I had a nice little bout with myself these last couple of days. Whenever I'm sick I'm a complete baby. I want to sleep all the time and I want someone to feed me and take care of me. Nothing gets done around the house, and my kids feel neglected, and I feel awful both in body and in spirit.
Here I am letting those awful thoughts consume my mind, instead of accepting that I had a couple sick days and that the house looks like it has been monopolized by one three year old and two two year olds for a week...not to mention my children looked like ragamuffins, wild things.
Riley's hair was literally a birds nest.
But now that my head is a bit clearer and the fog has passed, I can see how I have the desire to live and thrive instead of just surviving
(which I seriously doubted the last few days).
How I am grateful that the house didn't burn down, and no one got hurt, and it's in as good a shape as any...sure there's no milk in the fridge but now I'm feeling better and that's first thing on the list tomorrow.
How being sick really knocked me on my head and confirmed that my life still isn't simple enough and I need to take it down another notch or two in certain areas.
How grateful I am that my home is semi organized, and that Robbie helps as much as he does. If he didn't do the dishes, or pick up after the kids the last few days...I can't even bear to think of what the state of our home would have been. And now that I'm feeling better I'm getting to that mountain of laundry. Turns out we do have clothes! They're just all dirty. Do you know how good it felt to make the bed with clean sheets after laying in it sick for three days? It was glorious!
Being able to see and hear the harmony and beauty of our daily round as I laid on the couch (dying, cough cough) and watching the kids play.
Having the time to think about my priorities and how to fix some things.
Instead of beating myself up for all the things I didn't get done, I chose to love myself, to make peace with who I am and what I can and can not do. When I'm sick I'm a baby, and nothing much gets done.
But it could be worse, I could be dead, and I'm not, so tomorrow is a new day and I'm very much looking forward to it.
Take the time.
Take the plunge.
This is some pretty awesome stuff.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) The sister missionaries. They showed up when I had three kids in the bath and I had just put in teeth whitening strips....my dog was going ballistic, and I open the door like "I haven't showered in a couple days, come on in"...they were really sweet about it. They were inspired to come by today, they really lifted my spirits. Good thing they didn't come yesterday...
2) Clean laundry.
3) Showers. And hot water at my beck and call. And that Robbie goes to work to pay the bills so I can have a hot shower.
4) What do you mean it's only Wednesday?...It's only Wednesday? Well, then I'm grateful tomorrow is Thursday, one day closer to Friday.
5) And it only took me 30 minutes to write this. I won the bet. Peace out ya'll
No comments:
Post a Comment