"I did not lose myself all at once.
I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain,
the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water."
Today, again, Sarah hits it square on, and here it is in its entirety.
Start Quote
Life batters us whether we are rich or poor, public or private.
The wound we suffer may be an open cut or a slow, silent hemorrhage of the soul.
On the outside we may look as if we've got our act together, but each of us encounters those dark stormy days when we feel very small, very fragile, and very frightened, as if we might shatter into a thousand pieces and break into heartrending sobs at something as simple as "How are you?"
[how eloquently she's described my bad days]
When this happens we have to be kind to ourselves,
not beat ourselves up...
Our feelings are valid, our fears very real,
even though they are probably not based on reality.
...remember that the best description of fear is "false evidence appearing real."
When these occasions occur in your life, recall that your first duty is to
love yourself into Wholeness.
How [do you do] this?
By pampering yourself with simple pleasures and small indulgences.
By treating yourself like the baby you are right now.
[like with a comfort drawer and toy box, or...]
Could you bring home something wonderful for dinner tonight from a Chinese or Indian carryout? Could you treat yourself to some of the potted daffodils or tulips that are appearing in the shops about now? Could you take the afternoon off and sneak into a matinee? If not, how about bringing home two or three classics from the video store and enjoying a movie marathon with a big bowl of popcorn? Why not delight in an ice-cream cone for lunch, taking it to a park to bask in the sunshine and hear the birds singing?
What about saying "no" to the next request for you to do something?
Yes, you can.
You don't have to do everything and be everything for everyone else all the time.
If you think you can't possibly do one more thing without screaming or crying, you're probably right.
Start by saying, "No, I'm sorry, I've got a prior commitment."
For, of course, you do.
Today you need to be there for yourself.
Remember, we did not lose ourselves all at once.
But we recover our authentic selves one kind gesture at a time.
End Quote
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) Work. Working hard, working out, work in general (in the proper amounts with the proper amount of rest and such) is good for the soul.
2) My kids played so nicely together yesterday, and kind of today. I love seeing these little people be people.
3) Finishing something. I got the entire living room cleaned. Dusted, vacuumed, mopped, guest bath cleaned...and then vacuumed upstairs. Ha! Take that dirt.
4) Robbie. He gave the kids a bath, and watched them while they played in the water waiting for the towels to dry in the dryer, and put lotion on them, and brushed their teeth, so I could finish vacuuming...That way when we laid the kiddos down on the carpet to put a diaper on them their butts were not covered in everything that was previously on the carpet. Then he did some honey dos that just made my life for tomorrow so much easier. He is truly a team player.
5) Piano lessons. My babies are getting excited about piano lessons now, because they know if they do well and play nice they'll get a candy...they are so much better at playing together nicely now, which makes teaching a lesson so much less stressful. And my students are freaking awesome. I can't believe I have this privilege to teach these amazing people.
No comments:
Post a Comment