January 23rd - Accepting Reality

Huh.

I'm pretty sure I've said that like three times now...but Sarah thankfully shed some light on it. 

"What is acceptance? Acceptance is surrendering to what is: our circumstances, our feelings, our problems, our financial status, our work, our health, our relationships with other people, the delay of our dreams. Before we can change anything in our life we have to recognize that this is the way it's meant to be right now. 

It's 'all right'...This is simply part of the journey."

Sarah talked about how she struggled to be content because she stubbornly resisted reality. But when she decided to "surrender to the reality of a particular situation...a softening in my soul occurs."

Acceptance brings relief and release. "Acceptance also illuminates reality so that we're better able to see the next step."

"Cast a glance around and acknowledge what's going on...

This is okay. This is real life.

Today, let go of the struggle. Allow the healing process of change to begin. 

You're ready to move on."

Those of us who are LDS have heard a lot about softening of hearts, so this is not a new phrase to us. 

I thought of the story of Nephi tied to the ship by his brothers. 

"And there was nothing save it were the power of God, which threatened them with destruction, could soften their hearts; wherefore, when they saw that they were about to be swallowed up in the depths of the sea they repented of the thing which they had done, insomuch that they loosed me." -BOM

Doesn't that sound like they accepted their reality? 

We are going to die unless we repent and untie our brother.

Isn't that what we do when we repent of our sins? The first step is accepting we were wrong? 

Not accepting your reality, I think, is wrong. It gets you all angry and fired up over things and doesn't help you in any way change them. (I'm not saying don't get angry, or fired up...I'm saying do it the right way)

I fear I'm starting to babble. I don't think there is anything left to say. 

So I shall accept my reality and say goodnight to you all :)

Peace out

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Gratitude Journal

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1) Hair. After spending the weekend at my parents house, I had to go into Shelby's room before we left. I had stayed away because it still feels like she's going to come out and give me a hug and say hello...but I couldn't stand that her bed wasn't made, or that her room was a mess. So I started cleaning and going through things. I took some stuff home like her hair brushes (mine are toast, thanks for giving me yours sweetheart). As I was cleaning them out I thought "how weird would it be to smell her hair?"...well, I did. And it still smelled like her. I miss her. I know I'll see her again, but who knows how many years it'll be. I don't like to wait...it's going to be a long time if I don't learn some patience.

2) Hair brushes. Indy smelled like wet dog, and I had this great idea to use one of the sturdy brushes Shelby had to bathe Indy. It worked amazing. The brush worked better than my fingers ever would have. Thanks Shelby.

3) Going through Shelby's room. It was almost like I got to talk to her while I made her bed, threw trash away, did some organizing. She was (is) amazing.

She was different from the world, and she did make a difference. The dove chocolate wrapper says something about love the little moments...I can't read it from the picture, I told myself "I'll remember"...uh huh.

4) Graham crackers. I had opened a pack for the kids...but apparently one wasn't enough. Riley decided to rip another pack open with her teeth and bit into them like an apple.

5) Lazy day. We just played, and slept, and watched tv and cuddled. For some reason I couldn't make myself work today, so I tried to just love my kids. We watched Hotel Transylvania, and they went to bed saying Blah Blah Blah.