January 21st - Illusions

I have somewhere in the recent past become a huge believer in accepting your reality. I think it was when I finally got out of denial and admitted to myself that raising three kids under the age of 3 was hard, and was going to be the hardest thing I ever did. The simple act of seeing my life as it really was, instead of what I thought or wanted it to be, has become immensely helpful to how I live my life now. It's kind of hard to explain...

Denial was like an illusion that clouded my life. I didn't see things clearly. Everything was okay, and I was fine, when I really wasn't. I wasn't living, I was surviving, but I had convinced myself that I was thriving. You can't move forward if you can't clearly see the path in front of you. 

But at the same time, that's not really true. Sometimes we have to take leaps of faith, not being able to see clearly. But being clear headed, clearly seeing your life for what it is and the power you have over it, maybe that's it. 

Today Sarah talks about illusions that limit us. One is that fate determines our destiny and we don't have any control. Another is that we can control everything, and so can't even dream of trusting an outside source like God or the Universe or Spirit. 

"We buy in to the illusion that external events possess the ultimate power to deny our dreams...and we wonder why we're so unhappy? Let go of limiting illusions that have held you back from knowing that just to be alive is a grand thing."

She talks about suspending disbelief. If you're suspending disbelief, then aren't you gaining faith? If you're getting rid of something, doesn't something take it's place? I really enjoyed going through this talk, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. If you're not a big fan of religion, that's okay. I still suggest you read through this to learn about gaining faith and the power that it has. Because faith is universal in the sense that you can have faith in many things, so the concept of having faith in Christ and faith in yourself should be the same. He talks about the 6 D's that destroy our faith, doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience, and disbelief.  

"Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." -NT 

Sarah quoted Agatha Christie, and I feel the same as she. 

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

What illusions are holding you back?

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Gratitude Journal

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1) Waking Up. Waking up with the love of your life holding you, curled in the blankets because it's cold, and Jacob saying "I have to go poopoo" across the house. Then Riley waking up and the first thing she says is "Nana? Nana!" If she could say "come and get me Nana!" she would have.

2) Snow. It snowed, it didn't stick, but it snowed. It was beautiful. Shelby would have loved it. Then it rained, and now the sun is coming out...even if it's only for a moment, it's like it just wanted to pop out and say hello. 

3) Grandma. What more can I say?  

4) My mom. She cooks everything for us. "Here let me fix breakfast, here let me fix lunch." It's like she's fixing me.

5) Cute kids. No snow, but lots of water. The fun of splashing and getting wet.

Then Chase fell down and hated being wet. I don't blame him.

Then Jacob realized he was wet and didn't like it either.

And then Chase forgot about it. Riley never cared.

And the day is only half over. 
What a wonderful day so far.