I ALWAYS have this problem,
because right now my home IS my work.
Today Sarah is talking about how many women
are choosing to work out of their homes
instead of in an office.
That's more true than ever now I think.
Start Quote
Yes, it's fabulous to be able to work in pajamas or sweats,
handy to throw a load of laundry
into the washing machine while sending a fax,
convenient to start spaghetti sauce simmering in the early afternoon
while conducting telephone conferences.
But if you're not careful,
it's VERY EASY to blur the distinction
between the two spheres
- home and work -
until you have only "homework,"
which is horrendous.
Homework is rolling out of bed and waking up on-line,
only to fall asleep at the computer sixteen hours later.
Homework is a soulless, repetitive cycle of brutality
brought on by the ease and convenience of technology...
But like any life choice,
you have to be suited to it...
You also have to be extremely focused to work from home,
because you MUST WORK.
When the family heads out the door in the mornings,
you must head into your office and
not give homecaring another thought
until your business for the day is complete.
This response is not automatic;
it requires rigorous discipline NOT to
"pick up" the house before settling down to work.
I recommend a blindfold when
walking through the house during the day.
[I can totally walk through my house blindfolded and know where everything is, can't you?]
Once you realize how comfortable, even pleasurable,
it can be to work at home, it's easy to become reckless,
taking on more than you can handle reasonably.
That's because your work week is no longer structured
around five days and eight to ten hours;
the office is always open.
Since you don't have a commute, you start working an hour earlier
and continue an hour later than if you were working in an office.
Since the office is right down the hall, it's easy to just pop in there
after the kids are settled for the night to "finish up."
Weekends are all too perfect for
"catching up" on last week's leftovers
or for "getting a head start" on next week's load.
Eventually the days have no distinction
and your working style is a sinkhole.
Gradually your homework begins to resemble
the slave labor of immigrants who were paid
pennies for the piecework they produced in their tenement homes.
But even if you're earning more money than before,
if you no longer have a life at home
you must learn to set limits...
"If people are highly successful in their profession
they lose their senses," Virginia Woolf,
who worked at home, cautions us.
"Sight goes. They have no time to look at pictures.
Sound goes. They have no time to listen to music.
Speech goes. They have no time for conversation.
They lose their sense of proportion
- the relations between one thing and another.
Humanity goes."
Heed her words.
End Quote
Can I just say Amen?
Being a mom is a tough gig, it's just about 24/7 for most moms.
If you work out of the home or if they're in school
then it's not quite 24/7 anymore,
there are times when they don't need you.
But for me, a stay at home mom,
with a four year old and twins who are turning three next month,
it is literally 24/7.
I have an early wake up call,
and the work starts immediately.
We hit the ground running.
Diapers, did you go pee pee in the potty, go get some underwear on, lets say prayers, lets read scriptures, then you try and put out about 10 or 20 different fires and fights that come up in the half hour everyone has been awake...times three.
And then it's make breakfast, get them dressed, teeth brushed, shoes on, your shoes are on the wrong feet, no you cannot go to school dressed as a ninja turtle, yes I packed you a snack and yes I put your lunch box in your backpack and yes I put it in the car.
Then it's drive to school, walk to class, walk back to the car and either go home to do work for a few hours or exercise or run errands. Go Go Go.
Then it's pick up Jacob from school, and the twins almost every day throw a fit because they are hungry and tired because it's lunch and nap time, so we get everyone home and fed and to sleep. Sometimes I take a nap and force Jacob to take one too, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I spend time with just him, and other times he plays by himself and I get the first hour of my day to myself. I usually eat and read. Sometimes he'll help me with a craft, right now we're working on his costume.
And then it's more chores, and putting out more fires, and trying to get dinner ready and more snacks because they're starving, and then it's anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour of piano lessons, and if it's a good day the kids will keep playing until dinner is ready. If it's a bad day a movie gets put on so I can finish dinner without having to worry about them killing each other.
Then we eat, then we get the kids bathed, and we read books, and then we get their little butts to bed. Depending on how tired they are, they might stay up another hour. Sometimes that hour is filled with harmless playing, other times there's blood and tears and screaming.
And then I have about 3-4 hours before I completely pass out.
One of those hours I do my blog, sometimes it's two. I try to finish whatever I didn't get to earlier, spend time with Robbie, try to do something fun for myself, read my scriptures, do budget and calendar stuff etc etc...
And it doesn't just end when I go to bed.
At least once a week I'm awoken to someone having an accident or a nightmare...It's literally 24/7.
Also, I am not a multi tasker.
Do you know how hard it is to try and help three toddlers who have gotten into a fight or who all want your attention AND do some kind of work? It just isn't possible. It's either working with the kids, or some other kind of work, you can't do both at the same time.
And that is my day.
Every day.
It's chaotic, and fast paced, and loud,
but sometimes it's slow, and smooth, and quiet.
Some days are really really hard,
and others are perfectly magical.
These days won't last forever,
they'll only be this little for so long.
I totally understand losing sight, sound and speech.
At the end of the day I just want to close my eyes,
I just want it to be quiet...
there is so much to do, all the time,
and because it's all circular
once you get it done
in one hour or day or week
it's going to have to be done again.
The work is never ending.
Never.
I think that's why it's so important to create
boundaries and limits and schedules.
Make time for yourself, make time for fun,
make sure that you are able to enjoy the life you're living,
wherever you are and whatever you're doing.
Because if you can't figure that out,
I don't think you can ever be happy.
And we are meant to be happy.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) I received "props" today. I can't remember the last time someone gave me "props". He said he didn't know how I did it with three kids and I was doing a great job. It really made me smile, because I had just successfully gotten three screaming toddlers from the classroom to the car without yelling at them or spanking them. I had kept my cool, and it was nice to pat myself on the back for a second.
2) My friend. She is so awesome. You know how some people say they're willing to do something, and then never follow through? Well she follows through. She offered to help me with those thank you notes for the Chasing Shelby Foundation, and I had said "Oh no, I don't need help." Well, turns out I did, and so after our walk/run she stayed for like an hour helping me put letters in envelopes. She cut my time in half, and made it so much more enjoyable. She truly was an angel in my life today.
3) Finding something that you think you've lost.
4) Sushi, a good book, silence, and my night off. Sounds like heaven, felt like heaven.
5) My friends and family. They are so kind to me. I called up two people today and was like "hey can I come over?" or "are you doing anything tomorrow morning?" and they're like "I'm all yours." It's truly wonderful to have people who love me so much. I am truly blessed, they bring such joy to my life.
An update on Jacob's costume!
He's going to be the cutest four year old Avatar Aang you've ever seen.
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