"Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right,
is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?"
Faith and doubt.
There are many struggles that I find that members of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have, myself included.
This is not to pass judgment, or to make a blanket accusation.
This is just an observation from personal experience.
Not everyone has these trials, but some do.
The reason I bring them up is because
you can't fix it if you don't know it's a problem.
We tend to judge others harshly when
they don't live up to our expectations or they let us down.
We judge others because they sin differently than we do.
We also judge ourselves, way, way too harshly.
We feel the need to be perfect, in everything, and to do it alone.
We
feel the need to have perfect faith, and if you're questioning or
struggling with something you don't talk about it for fear of being
ostracized.
If you aren't perfect, if you question or doubt,
you feel unbelievable guilt and shame...
It's absolutely horrible.
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
And we do it to ourselves.
But we can change that.
Now I'm not saying we can change everyone,
but we can change ourselves.
And that can make all the difference.
If you start by accepting yourself as you are, then it almost becomes a piece of cake to accept someone else as they are.
When you start to apply the atonement of Jesus Christ to your life,
it's easier not to judge others.
When you accept and acknowledge your doubts, questions, and sins
you begin to understand that it's okay and it's all part of this life.
(Not to justify sin, I'm not saying it's okay to sin,
I'm saying you have to accept that you will make mistakes).
Then when you come across others you can be more
understanding of their doubts, questions, and sins.
You can choose not to shame and guilt yourself
because you love yourself, and Jesus and God love you too, just as you are.
And then you can choose not to shame and guilt others.
And if you love someone through a trial, well then they see how much better life is when you live it that way, and then they start loving themselves better. And once they do that, then it's all a ripple effect from there.
But the first step is accepting that there is opposition in all things.
You can not have faith without doubt.
You cannot just erase doubt, anymore than you can
magically disappear all the pain and suffering in this world.
You have to replace it.
Here are some great resources to help you learn about faith and doubt.
And last but not least, and there are plenty more...
But this is the first book that really helped me understand the true nature of faith...
Start Quote
If there were not doubt, why would we need faith?
Perhaps the doubts must be acknowledged, accepted, embraced, and pushed past before our faith is strong enough, not just to talk about, but to sustain.
It's okay if you hold your breath when you leap.
Just don't look down.
"Faith is not being sure.
It is not being sure, but betting with your last cent,"
Mary Jean Irion reassures us in Yes, World.
"Faith is not making religious-sounding noises in the daytime. It is asking your inmost self questions at night - and then getting up and going to work."
End Quotes
When doubts and fears come, do not live in them.
Do not let them overwhelm you or allow a place inside of you for them to grow.
Acknowledge them, be thankful for them,
and work past them so you can let them go.
Live in the light.
Live with hope and with faith.
Live with hope and with faith.
Life is just better that way.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) My parents. They brought dinner and took a kid for the weekend. It's almost like a vacation.
2) Just chillin' with Robbie.
3) Watching my kids play. They are mixing PJ Masks and Avatar the Last Airbender, and it's the greatest thing ever. "Avatar Aang, cat speed!"
4) Kisses.
5) Having fun at the park. Climbing trees. Having a picnic. Seeing and playing with good friends.
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