"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
I have learned that it takes a village to raise your children.
Start Quote
Around this time of year we start thinking of family,
sometimes lovingly, sometimes with dread.
Although the configuration of the family has
changed drastically since the Victorian era,
what hasn't changed is our need for
close ties to those who call us their own.
Real life often frays the ties that bind families...
But it is possible to draw close to those we love if we plan for it.
It seems absurd that we must make time for love,
whether it's carving out time for a romantic interlude with a partner,
setting up an official lunch date with a sister, or penciling in
a long telephone call with a brother or a favorite cousin.
But there you have it...
[Have a stack of cards for the year ready to go, so you don't have to go get one every time someone has a birthday. Have your birthday calendar be part of your regular calendar.]
Be creative with your gestures...
[Keep clippings of newspaper/magazine articles and comics that make you think of them, just make sure to send it to them.
When you find a book you love, get one for your mom or you know.]
If you live away from family members, schedule telephone calls on a regular basis...
We all remember the children in our extended families around the holidays, but it takes a little extra effort to remember the kid's birthdays. There are more hurt and silent feelings smoldering over this one omitted gesture than you can imagine.
Try to make the effort.
Not having time, or "meaning to," really doesn't cut it.
None of us have time, all of us mean to.
We all can do it, once we make thoughtfulness easy with a system.
[Do your family history.]
Share family stories. Record them on audiotapes so they won't get lost. Especially have your parents and grandparents record their memories. After he's gone, the sound of your father's voice will break your heart but heal your soul. Go through your old family photographs and have copies made for everyone. Start an extended family video record. Try to get together annually....
[One friend had a really great idea. Their mother died, and so the siblings pooled their inheritance to create a reunion fund to pay for an annual reunion because they all lived so far away from each other.] She says it was the first few reunions that were so crucial; after that, a new family tradition had been established. Now my friend feels closer to her brothers and sisters as an adult than she ever did as a child.
Simone Weil believed,
"To be rooted is perhaps the most important
and least recognized need of the human soul."
That's a wonderful thought to meditate upon this Thanksgiving.
End Quote
We need our village to stay sane, even to survive...
But we also need to be good members of our village.
I know I could be a better family member.
I hope I have a long life so I can keep trying.
***
Gratitude Journal
***
1) We made it out of the house today! It was difficult, and I had to come home and lie down the rest of the day, but we made it!
2) We got to see turkeys and little chicks! They're so cute. Jacob actually held one, and when you talk to the turkeys they all talk back simultaneously.
3) It's thanksgiving break. I don't think I could do this if there was school this week.
4) Therapy.
5) Clean sheets.
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