Once upon a time you trusted your instincts.
Sarah suggests that the last time you did, where you didn't listen to anyone else, was when you were 10.
"Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live."
When you were 10 you were in 5th grade.
I think 5th grade was Mr Lucian.
I remember we were asked a question. I was generally known as one of the smartest kids in class, and we were told to go stand on one side of the room for one answer and the other side of the room for the other answer. I had the answer that I thought was right, so I stood on one side of the room. A lot of others stood with me, not because they thought the answer was right but because they thought I was right. A few thought the answer was on the other side of the room, so they stood over there. The classroom was divided. Mr Lucian just looked at us, and asked "are you sure?" One by one everyone standing by me left to the other side of the room. Mr Lucian asked if I still thought I was right, so I stood by myself.
I turned out to be wrong.
I was happy that I chose to stand by my answer, instead of following the crowd and giving in to peer pressure, but I was confused. I was wrong, and I didn't know why. Mr Lucian just went on with the lesson, but I was still confused. To this day I don't remember what the question was, and I don't remember why I got it wrong.
There are all sorts of times that I got some answers wrong, in all grades and in all classes, and no one could explain why...and if they did, sometimes I still didn't get it.
I know that I don't know everything, that I'm smart but I'm not that smart, but that I always want to continue to learn. There are some things that I know, other things I don't, and I always want to be respectful and open to other's opinions and knowledge.
But also trust in myself and what I know.
Sarah said "I remind myself that once upon a time, I trusted my instincts.
You did, too. Once upon a time there weren't second and third guesses.
It can be that way again.
Try to contact the girl you once were. She's all grown up now. She's your authentic self and she's waiting to remind you how beautiful, accomplished, and extraordinary you really are."
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Gratitude Journal
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1) Sundays with kids. We had a crap day. It started out good, but then the kids woke up from their naps and we got them dressed. Riley screamed and screamed and every time we tried to put her dress on she literally ripped it off, throwing herself on the floor. We got everyone in the car, screaming, got to church, got into some seats in the back, and all seemed well. We gave them their lunch which they didn't want to eat when we were home, and then all hell broke loose. The crying, the screaming...I'm trying to teach Jacob that I hear him, he doesn't have to repeat himself a million times and all the while screaming, and especially don't do that in church. We lasted about 10 minutes in the foyer and it still didn't stop. We gave up and went home. By then all 5 of us were in foul moods. By 4 o'clock we were all asleep, passed out. We woke up around 6, had cereal for dinner and watched Finding Dory, then put everyone back to bed.
Sundays with kids are so rough. With a 3 year old and two 2 year olds who are still learning reverence.......and church is during their nap time............But I know God was pleased with us today that we tried. That even though we were all in foul moods we still loved each other. That even though we were a little snippy with each other, and a little snide and rude, we forgave each other and were understanding instead of condemning.
2) Valentines day Sunday. I would love more days to dress up. Sundays gives me a little bit of an opportunity. Today I wore a red shirt, with my gold skirt and gold sparkly necklace and eyes with leopard print flats. The boys in black and red and Riley in her gold dress. We looked awesome. I wanted a picture, but foul moods do not pretty pictures make.
3) Rest. Sundays are a day of rest, and boy did we need it. You know when you wake up and you know you were passed out sleeping with your arms outstretched and your mouth wide open and a little drool laying flat on your back? Yep. That was all 5 of us.
4) Memories. Brains are pretty incredible.
5) It's bed time! Peace ya'all.
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